So They Put Your Boob In a Vice….

surprised faceOk, so the technical term is “plates”, and I’m sure there is a fancy medical term that they use when we civilians aren’t around. Yep, that’s right I had a mammogram and I’ve lived to tell the tale!

I’m one of the many who have a higher chance of breast cancer, yay, lucky me. However, since I moved to wine country a few years ago and am over 40, I’m also one of the lucky few who qualify for free mammograms every couple of years. Yep, you heard it here first folks, every two years I get my breasts squished for free!

So every couple of years I trot off to the local breast screen clinic and make small talk with a medical professional who is usually a woman older than me while topless and trying not to move while less than sexy shots are taken of my boobs.   I don’t envy this poor woman’s job either, “Try and stay still and don’t breathe dear”, is usually what I hear while the technician tries valiantly to get enough of my less than generous assets into the machine so she can do the scan. Personally I think I’m probably having more armpit and side boob fat scanned than actual breast. LOL, what ya gunna do, you work with what you have!

For anyone who hasn’t had one and is wondering what to expect, don’t hold off, it’s surprisingly fast and easy. I didn’t feel any pain at all; very firm pressure, but no pain. Sure, the resulting photos aren’t the sexy glamour shots that you’d post to Instagram if you were Kim Kardashian, but for 15 minutes of your Saturday morning and some small talk, I’d recommend you take advantage of the amazing service we are lucky enough to have access to for free in Australia… it might just save your life.

PS: If you are 40 and over living in rural Australia you qualify for earlier screening. Ask your doctor.