Longest Ever Booze Free

Well, it’s official, at 107 days today that’s 3 days longer than I’ve been booze free since my early 20s!

That’s pretty darn good, over 25% of my year off is completed and I’ve saved a bucket load of cash, my calm demeanor means I’ve not killed anyone at work*, my skin is good and I’m way fitter than I’ve been in a while.  All in all a pretty solid result.

No booze means that I know my experience last night was probably menopause related, not my body burning off toxins…  I spent the early hours of last night laying on the cool tiles in the lounge room trying to bring my core body temp down to a comfortable sleeping level while making up hot flush related words to the song “Summer Nights” from Grease as the girl cat circled wondering what the hell I was up to… perhaps I’ll record them one night while I’m being kept awake by my body turning on itself.  LOL

So, I’m a week out from turning 48, my second sober birthday in two years (I know, who’d have thunk it!) and while I’m clearly getting older, I’m feeling better than I have in years and know that I can face anything that comes at me.

Stay healthy and happy good peeps.

* Yet!  😉

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I’ve Got To Stop Dreaming About Poultry!

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Wow, weird, fast, long few days good Internet peeps.  A Day has been and gone and not all went to plan.  Apparently, according to the Internet, this is why I’ve been dreaming about poultry; baby poultry to be exact!

For the last few night’s I’ve been dreaming about chicks, ducklings and their eggs.  The fact that I’m dreaming (don’t often), coupled by this very weird pattern sent me off searching for meaning…

Dreaming of:

  • Birds – Hopes, goals and aspirations or a sunny disposition and that a weight has been lifted off of me
  • Chickens – Cowardice and lack of willpower and possible gossip about me
  • Ducks – Represent spiritual freedom, that I’m flexible,  I may also feel like a sitting duck or target.
  • Hatching Eggs  –  financial gain.   In my dream they turned into chicks, that doesn’t add up if we look above.  Unless I’m scared of more money… nah, doesn’t seem right, but send cash anyway, I’m happy to find out, all in the name of science you understand  😉  .

So taking into account all the above  I’m happily, optimistically, running from something scary, being talked about (hopefully about my adaptability, see “duck” LOL), afraid I’m about to be picked off, but apparently coming into some cash so I don’t care because I’m also spiritually free.  That’s quite a mix to wade* through.

Mind you, perhaps I’m just craving a good roast chicken or peking duck!  It’s possible, I’m partial to both.

The reality is that while there are some questions about where I’ll wind up professionally in the near future, I’m actually very excited about the changes being made, there’s a lot of opportunity for me to do new things and grow, and I can’t wait.

I’m very pleased that I’m tackling this without booze**, can you imagine the size of the birds I might be dreaming about if I was wine soaked as well!   I have to say that being trapped at a table of colleagues who had the advantage of taking the boredom edge off a 4 hr awards banquet with copious amounts of one of my favourite wines was tough, but I hung in there and consequently didn’t fall into the trap of the dreaded after party!  Perhaps I’m learning…

 

*duck pun unintended

**100 days yesterday, feeling very good physically and mentally

 

 

 

 

A Day Approacheth!

It’s going to be a big week good internet peeps.  “A Day” or Announcement Day for some big changes in my professional world is about to arrive!

I think the stress might have been gradually creeping up on me as Friday night I had the strongest cravings for a drink that I’ve experienced in a really long time… I’m not sure how I’d have held up if someone had put a crisp flute of sparkling in my hand while I was sitting on the veranda watching the world go by!  But, I distracted myself with domestic tasks and struggled through, only to be tortured by a drinking dream that night.  I must have been struggling, not only was that the first ever drinking dream I’ve had, I was clearly desperate in it… I was drinking red wine out of a plastic glass!  Now, I’m no wine snob, but I am a glassware snob!  Anyone who knows me well knows that I’d go without than use plastic.

I’m that person, you know the one who has the right glass for every occasion.  Man, I must have thousands of dollars tied up in fancy glasses that we NEVER use… brandy balloon anyone?  Need tiny liqueur glasses, whisky tumblers, martini glasses or perhaps pilsner glasses for your beer*?  I’m your gal!  No idea why, I just love them all. Never used 80% of them, probably never will.  LOL

Glassware issues aside (no, I won’t be seeking help, I love them all), the dream quite rattled me.  However I played the craving through to the end – why in the world when this week is probably going to be one of the most important in my professional life until the “when to retire” one, would I decide to drink?  What possible good could come from it?  Nuthin’ at all!  And that’s the truth.

So I’m pushing on into this week clear headed and focused on what I want and what will be good for me and Crazy Cat boy long term.   I’m terrified and excited at the same time about all the unknowns that A Day will bring  and I can’t wait to find out. 

I promise to fill you in when I can.  Stay healthy and happy all!

*I don’t drink beer or spirits, or even cocktails at home, but I have full sets of each of these different glasses, you know, just in case  In case of what I don’t know, some are at least 15 yrs old and still have the stickers on them from the shop!  LOL

My app tells me it’s been 90 days since I drank, that’s 25% of my stated goal completed.  Once the dust is settled on A Day I’ll be close to 100 days – 104 days is my longest without a drink, I’m looking forward to beating that.

Could This Be The Start?

Hmm, woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, I know it wasn’t alcohol related so I hope it was just the massive amounts of roast lamb I ate for dinner, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t.  Not sure I like where this is going… surely I’m too young for menopause??!

Anything else I should be on the watch for?

No More Firsts?

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged?  Talk about not keeping new years resolutions!  LOL.

I’m at my clients ATM and upstairs my boss is in a meeting that could change the course of both our professional lives.. it’s hush, hush, so keep it between us please 😉

If it all comes together there’ll be a number of firsts I’ll have to deal with in the very near future, and that’s ok because I’m sleeping well (ATM) and feeling pretty damn healthy due to this not drinking jazz and getting plenty of exercise.

Hang on I hear you say, isn’t the title of this post “No More Firsts”?  And here she is rabbiting on about a bunch of firsts on the cards.  Nice catch!  I only attract the very smartest of readers !  🙂

I was thinking only this morning that I’m out of non drinking firsts.  Over the past 2 years while I’ve been taking longish periods away from my beloved wine I’ve actually covered them all at some point… Christmas, NYE, Birthdays, Funerals, Weekends away*, Conferences, Dinners with friends and enablers alike, Winery visits, the list goes on….  Hell, I’ve even had my MIL stay and not drink!  The only thing I’m missing is a wedding but we are past that in my circle ATM, so I think I’m good there.  It’s true what those who have gone before say, it does get easier, those firsts come and go and you go on with your journey a little bit surer that what you doing is right for you.

 

*After looking at me like I’d lost my mind when I said I was taking the year off booze, my colleague came out with “Oh good, we don’t have to walk back to the work show, you can drive us home!” It was his car and 40 degrees, so I was more than happy to drive the drunks home.  I do love how often Aussies immediate go to is  “You non drinking freak… here are my keys, you’re responsible for us all now”  LOL!  I also enjoyed waking up without a hangover the next morning in that heat,  that was the real bonus!

Which App Is More Socially Acceptable?

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Not mine for sure!

So, I told you good peeps that I was off to a BBQ at friends on Australia Day (I’m going to over look the fact that I actually screwed up and we drove 1.5 hrs each way on the wrong day and had to do it all over again the following day, completely messing up our long weekend plans*).

“Adventure” aside,  we had a lovely day (eventually!), our hosts were delighted to find that the bottle of wine was all for them. We proceeded to chat and eat the afternoon away.  Discussion turned, as it so often does with a bunch of middle to slightly older people sitting around, to health.

Crazy Cat Boy and I had explained that we were taking the year off booze**. He said so he could lose weight, that prompted fitness aspiration confessions from around the table,  within seconds phones were produced and fitness/health apps were flourished around and workout stats analysed (Boys!).

Apps are fabulous, but the thing that stood out to me is the boys (I was the only woman at the table, not unusual in my world) all had apps that were positive, they were providing their users with a “solution”… my app, a sobriety app, suggested to all that I had a “problem”.

I said so and that got a laugh from the group, but it got me thinking, is it a different mind set with guys when they set out to “improve” themselves?  Do women immediately go to a place where we decided that we aren’t good enough and that we have a problem that needs to be fixed? Do men look at things differently?   I never even considered downloading a fitness app. Do these even track drinking/non drinking as part of the overall health aspect?  (Dunno, haven’t looked and this was supposed to be a short post, I really have a lot of work to do today)

It’s an interesting concept to explore… I work with mostly men and don’t really have a whole lot of IRL interaction with women.  I do know that guys don’t do guilt, realising this and taking action to give up guilt myself has helped my mental health a lot.  Perhaps they don’t do imperfection either where they are concerned?

What about all of you out there? I know some of you good people are looking closely or actively working on your relationship with alcohol.  Thoughts on the female v male psyche on addressing this?

 

*Didn’t really, just wasted a day in travel. Thank goodness we weren’t hungover and cranky at each other, that could have been a long 1.5 hr trip home! LOL  We did go for a long walk and visit a nice garden that was on the “list of stuff to do”.  

‘Stralia Day, The Booziest Weekend Of Them All

It’s Australia Day in my little patch of the world and along with all the controversy around the day itself, something I’m not going to get into here, it’s also a long weekend where getting blind (Aussie term for very drunk) is considered obligatory.  It’s downright un Australian not to write yourself off apparently.

We are off to friends for lunch and I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed, but on the kitchen table sits a very nice bottle of red wine.  I put it there last night to remind me to take it today as a gift for our hosts.  However, Crazy Cat Boy has been giving me weird looks and I can see his mind churning… “Is that for us, are we drinking today? What about this year off thing she was on about?”

The answer is no, I won’t be drinking today (I’ve got Kombucha in the fridge to take for me), and the great thing is that I also won’t get any stick from this set of friends about not drinking. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that my gay mates are always completely accepting of other peoples decisions.  I might get a polite inquiry as to why no booze, but I certainly won’t get grilled like I have been in other circumstances.

Last week I was staying in old home town with Super Sammie and caught up with a few friends for dinner…. one dear friend spent about 20 minutes hanging shit on me for not drinking and then pulled me aside later to seriously ask me if I was sick  –  Nope, not dying, just not drinking!  LOL.

I’m looking forward to today, for once I’ve got the right outfit, it’s no longer stupidly hot here and I’ll happily handover the wine to hosts and drink my Kombucha while eating too many sausages and possibly getting mildly sun burnt… it’d be un Australian  not to!  😉

Getting Your Ducks In A Row(ish)

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Well good Internet people it’s week three of the new year, who’s still keeping their resolutions?  😉

I am, only 349 days left to meet my sober challenge (I’m a counter, what can I say!) and I’m making an effort to get my shit sorted nice and early in the year.

To this end, today I’ve booked a dentist appointment (to fill an annoying gap in my aging teeth) and to have my tax done next week. I’m also writing this at the same time as restoring my hair to its “natural” colour and removing that pesky lady mo LOL.

Ok, so none of this is very exciting, but it means I’m moving forward, something that I’ve been slow with in recent years.

So, this is me, gradually getting my ducks in a row, what are you going to do today to muster your ducks into whatever formation you’d like them to be in?

Back Fat & Booze

One of the “joys” of getting older is watching my body change… it’s doing stuff that I’ve never had to deal with before and I’m not happy about it.  Yeah, yeah, I know, age gracefully, be thankful that I have the chance, so many don’t, etc, etc… trust me I get all that but seriously, why can’t I just stay the shape I was?

I’m pretty lucky, I’m one of these people that have until the last few years been able to eat pretty much what I want and as long as I move a bit my weight doesn’t change a lot.

However, it was brought home to me by a young bra fitter recently that there’s been a change I really don’t like.  I was feeling a bit frumpy, as you do when you reach a certain age and decided that a new bra would cheer me up (why I thought this I have no idea. LOL).   So I trotted off to brand name underwear chain to get fitted.  All the bra’s I tried on provided me with a very sexy (NOT!) and unwelcome extra roll of fat poking out from under the arms and around the back.   “These don’t fit” I confidently tell the fitting assistant “They’re too tight, look at that bulge, let’s try another size”.  She casually looks me over and says “Nope, right size, don’t worry about that, everyone has them” she says in the comforting the old lady tone that only a retail sales assistant can carry off.

My first thought was – hey, I’m not everyone young lady! followed swiftly by, when did this happen to me, I’m not an extra roll of fat kind of person??!!

But you know what, I am now.  Years of booze (and brie)  have added an unwelcome layer of padding to my body.  It’s crept up gradually and I never noticed until I wasn’t happy with what I saw.

So, my existing bra’s aren’t uncomfortable because they are old, they are uncomfortable because I’m inhaling too much sugar and sitting around feeling hungover and sorry for myself.  Right then!

You know what, I’m tired of being tired and not being the best me.  So, 2019 is the year of “YES”, yes to opportunities, yes to new experiences, yes to no booze for the year and yes to recovering me.

PS: day ten no booze and I feel great… day ten is when the happy comes back… day 15 is where I forget what it’s like to drink and crack, so I’m on my guard!  

 

Day 2 of Another 100

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I’ve officially decided that I need another 100 Day Challenge.  After a couple of drinks over lunch on Saturday it’s become clear to me that I need a target to aim for, just a wishy washy “perhaps not drink until the end of the year” won’t work for me.  I need a solid date, so 2nd January 2019 it is.

Work is crazy and I can’t afford a moment lost.  So for the next 98 days I’ll be like this pelican*, calm on top, paddling furiously underneath. Wish me luck!

 

*Yes I know it’s generally a Swan but this guy had such a goofy look on his face I couldn’t resist!  LOL