Getting Your Ducks In A Row(ish)

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Well good Internet people it’s week three of the new year, who’s still keeping their resolutions?  😉

I am, only 349 days left to meet my sober challenge (I’m a counter, what can I say!) and I’m making an effort to get my shit sorted nice and early in the year.

To this end, today I’ve booked a dentist appointment (to fill an annoying gap in my aging teeth) and to have my tax done next week. I’m also writing this at the same time as restoring my hair to its “natural” colour and removing that pesky lady mo LOL.

Ok, so none of this is very exciting, but it means I’m moving forward, something that I’ve been slow with in recent years.

So, this is me, gradually getting my ducks in a row, what are you going to do today to muster your ducks into whatever formation you’d like them to be in?

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Back Fat & Booze

One of the “joys” of getting older is watching my body change… it’s doing stuff that I’ve never had to deal with before and I’m not happy about it.  Yeah, yeah, I know, age gracefully, be thankful that I have the chance, so many don’t, etc, etc… trust me I get all that but seriously, why can’t I just stay the shape I was?

I’m pretty lucky, I’m one of these people that have until the last few years been able to eat pretty much what I want and as long as I move a bit my weight doesn’t change a lot.

However, it was brought home to me by a young bra fitter recently that there’s been a change I really don’t like.  I was feeling a bit frumpy, as you do when you reach a certain age and decided that a new bra would cheer me up (why I thought this I have no idea. LOL).   So I trotted off to brand name underwear chain to get fitted.  All the bra’s I tried on provided me with a very sexy (NOT!) and unwelcome extra roll of fat poking out from under the arms and around the back.   “These don’t fit” I confidently tell the fitting assistant “They’re too tight, look at that bulge, let’s try another size”.  She casually looks me over and says “Nope, right size, don’t worry about that, everyone has them” she says in the comforting the old lady tone that only a retail sales assistant can carry off.

My first thought was – hey, I’m not everyone young lady! followed swiftly by, when did this happen to me, I’m not an extra roll of fat kind of person??!!

But you know what, I am now.  Years of booze (and brie)  have added an unwelcome layer of padding to my body.  It’s crept up gradually and I never noticed until I wasn’t happy with what I saw.

So, my existing bra’s aren’t uncomfortable because they are old, they are uncomfortable because I’m inhaling too much sugar and sitting around feeling hungover and sorry for myself.  Right then!

You know what, I’m tired of being tired and not being the best me.  So, 2019 is the year of “YES”, yes to opportunities, yes to new experiences, yes to no booze for the year and yes to recovering me.

PS: day ten no booze and I feel great… day ten is when the happy comes back… day 15 is where I forget what it’s like to drink and crack, so I’m on my guard!  

 

It’s Been A while, Oh And I Broke Someone…

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Nearly two months since I wrote. How that time has flown by.  I’ve got lots to say but nothing at the same time if you know what I mean?

I was going to talk about Christmas craziness*, but it’s not – it’s going to be just me, the cats and Crazy Cat Boy at home for a quiet day.

Then I was going to talk about the whole no booze journey and how it’s going for me, but I’m not – There’s been a few drinks here and there, nothing to write home (or a blog) about.

Oh, I know what I can tell you!  I’m the last straw!  That’s right,  you heard it here first good internet peeps, I pushed someone over the edge!  They actually cited me as, and I quote, “Too Demanding”,  the task I’d given them was the “last straw” and they quit their job of over 10 years.

Hmm, I sound terrifying I know!  But the reality is far from that.

Regular readers might remember that my organisation had a big event** last month, one I’ve been working as the key Project Manager on for a while.  Part of the three day event was a side function that ran for one day and included our suppliers exhibiting.  I’d been working with the relevant Sales Manager for my client who seemed…. disinterested shall we say in the details.  Sales Manager takes off for leave (as they are justified to do) and leaves very vague instructions for his staff member around the responsibilities for the side function.

Not unexpectedly I call a meeting with this staff member to see how things are going and where we can support (keeping in mind we’d actually done all the heavy lifting already on the event – all we really needed was someone to run it on the day).  They seemed fine at the meeting and we progress with phone calls, emails etc, all is moving in the right direction until 1 week out I get a call from the big boss… “Sales Manager got back today,  XYZ quit, apparently it’s our fault.”   

Our fault? Nope, not even remotely.  XYZ had a lot on, it’s been a very, very long year in our industry, more so than normal, and he was working in a high pressure sales environment with an understaffed team.  XYZ has a small child who is unwell and a massive prospective new customer that was keeping them on the road and away from home.  Add to that an overworked and under pressure sales manager above them and it all became too much and he marched in with a resignation letter and then marched straight out of the building.  Dramatic, but not very practical in my book (Hmm, perhaps I really am a hardarse)

The big boss was concerned that I might feel bad about the situation, but I don’t.  I know that it wasn’t me – in fact once the smoke had cleared XYZ went to the boss and said as much, they were just overwhelmed.

I do hope XYZ gets another job soon that will allow them to enjoy what they do again and that they find peace. I’ve been in a situation where a job is literally killing me, it’s not healthy.  I’m not sure what their personal situation is, I do hope they had the Fuck You Money to do this without putting their family stability at risk.

The whole situation was a timely reminder to keep an eye on my own stress levels and mental health.  So I encourage all of you at the end of this long year, wherever you are to take stock of how you feel in your head and your heart and make changes to keep yourself healthy and happy as we head into the silly season and beyond.

 

*Even my dear SIL seems to be taking a realistic approach to the silly season this year… the fact that she’s 7 weeks booze free is probably helping there I should imagine! Go her, it’s a great thing to be doing for herself.

**In case you are wondering, I did the lead up, the event and post event stone cold sober, much to many peoples deep and abiding confusion.   Trust me, it really was the only way I got through.  If I’d been dealing with lack of sleep and hangovers, I’d have done more than quit my job!  LOL

What’s with all the hair?

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Has anyone else noticed the inordinate amount of time you seem to spend plucking, waxing, dyeing or bleaching various patches of hair on your body as you get older???

It can’t be just me that appears to be morphing into some hybrid, greying werewolf surely?  All of a sudden the random “hair” on my chin has become “hairs” and there is something fine and long growing out of the side of my left rib cage, I can’t see it (coz, you know, old and blind apparently!) but I know it’s there because it keeps tickling my arm when I  undress.  Very irritating on a number of levels LOL.

The full  leg laser hair removal I “invested” in a decade ago to allow me to wear dresses without advanced planning is slowly but surely being ravaged by the hormones of time.  If I look closely there are a number of longish dark hairs reappearing.  Mind you I solve this by not looking closely that often… a strategy that will only work for so long before it becomes socially unacceptable however.

I’ve also noticed that my eyebrows have taken to random growth patterns and my bottles of root touch up don’t last nearly as long as they used to.  I’m considering growing my hair long again just to keep my dye budget* in check.   Add all this to the need for constant vigilance where my lady mustache is concerned and I’m not sure I have time for a full time career any longer.

However, as I’m not yet independently wealthy enough to give up this working malarkey  (and I can assure you, I checked), I’ll just have to make sure I schedule regular maintenance time, just like I do my laptop backups!

 

*The money I’m saving on booze is going on hair dye… ok that maybe a slight exaggeration, I drank A LOT, but still, you get my point. 😉

Still Paddling

Life’s frantic ATM so this is a quick check in to say, I’m still here and still paddling along.  Hope you are all well good internet peeps. I promise to catch up on all of my blog buddies soon!

Have a happy, healthy Monday all.

Day 2 of Another 100

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I’ve officially decided that I need another 100 Day Challenge.  After a couple of drinks over lunch on Saturday it’s become clear to me that I need a target to aim for, just a wishy washy “perhaps not drink until the end of the year” won’t work for me.  I need a solid date, so 2nd January 2019 it is.

Work is crazy and I can’t afford a moment lost.  So for the next 98 days I’ll be like this pelican*, calm on top, paddling furiously underneath. Wish me luck!

 

*Yes I know it’s generally a Swan but this guy had such a goofy look on his face I couldn’t resist!  LOL

Trying for Serenity

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I’m still here, crazy busy and will be until the next major event is done in mid November.

(They just seem to keep stacking up on top of one another!)

I’m tracking along ok, apart from too many balls in the air. I’m neglecting my fitness which is impacting my mood, so I’m trying for serenity in little bite sized pieces wherever I can get my hands on it.

Crazy Cat Boy started a new job where he doesn’t get to boss anyone around, so he has a tendency to try and boss me around instead, under the guise of “helping” mind you.  I don’t think he even knows he’s doing it, but it drives me nuts. I have to remember that “this to will pass” and he’s under a stack of pressure to make this new job work… it was a bit of a calculated risk in our industry, but it’ll fly in one way shape or form.  And when it does he’ll have staff to tell what to do instead of me!  LOL

Spring is working it’s magic here and we’ve planted out the tomatoes and the rest of the summer veggies so I’m looking forward to being able to walk into the back yard and pick my lunch again soon.

So that’s me in a nutshell, thanks for reading along, I know it’s a bit mundane, but realistically that’s my life. LOL

PS: after another month off the wine I had a couple of drinks with Super Sammie the other night while visiting her State.  They were nice, but it didn’t inspire me with a desire to do it again anytime soon, the wine that is, not the visit, that I enjoyed!  

 

Out of the darkness into the light

Yay, a new blog from my smart, healthy friend!

Whisper nutrition

I was asked all day about how I ended up going down  this path so I’m briefly going to tell you. Although this story starts off sad it has a happy ending to look forward too. I grew up in a world of addicts , narcissist , criminals and liars and I felt like there with no safe places to hide. I went from school to school in fact I stopped counting at 31, so please excuse any spelling mistakes. My back story can rival any novelist imagination ! However it’s the  life altering years I’m focusing on today. I used to ask myself questions like why are people mean to me and why don’t they see the real me or hear what I’m saying. Also I was thinking that ” I must have done something terrible in my last life to deserve this “ , why am I even…

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Missing My Family – Furry & Otherwise

I’m away for work ATM and am missing my entire family.  The poor girl cat had to have four teeth out yesterday and I’m not there to give her a pat.  Sure, Crazy Cat Boy is there, but I feel guilty that I’m not.

I’m missing Crazy Cat Boy as well.  He’s on holidays before his new job starts (going to be a risk, but a calculated risk so I’m worried about that as well!) and has been away visiting his family so I’ve not seen him much. Or spoken to him, as he’s between jobs he’s also between phones.  Wow, you don’t realise how much you rely on them now until one of you don’t have one!  I guess missing him is a good thing though!  LOL

Right, I’m off to score the best spot in the meeting room before the hoards arrive… two days of wanna be alfa males beating their chests to impress the new boss, I’m going to be doing a lot of eye rolling!

PS: 22 days built up again with no booze.  I really haven’t missed it much this time around.

A Slight Wobble

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Alright, if I’m honest it was more of a stumble than a wobble…

At 103 days we had international visitors descend on us and proudly present us with a bottle that “we brought all this way just to share with you.  We went specifically to the cellar door to pick it up!”.

Oh crapsicles was my first thought, I didn’t warn them that I wasn’t drinking.  My second thought was, what can it hurt? I did my 100 days, I’m not breaking that commitment.

What can it hurt?… well, even though not my worse enemy could have accused me of being drunk or even a bit tipsy, the following day after 4 people sharing a bottle of bubbles and then another over dinner, I felt like CRAP!  I was slightly “off” all day, even a bit irritable.  Crazy Cat Boy said he was the same.

I did the rest of the four day weekend as the designated driver out here in wine country, having a polite glass with dinner.  We merrily waved our guests goodbye,  hid all the wine they’d generously bought us over the extended cellar door tour we’d been on in the wine fridge out in the garage, and put ourselves firmly back on the wagon.

Lesson learnt, don’t let others sway your thinking.  Honestly if I’d known them better I’d have told them straight out that I wasn’t drinking, but I don’t, so I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable – they are quite big drinkers who we met on a winery tour.

(If I’m being honest, I let almost complete strangers influence my thinking here, something that 20 years ago I would never have let happen… something I need to have a closer look at I think.)

I can truly say that life is way better without booze, a bit of me is very sad about that, but most of me hasn’t even realised that I’ve been going without, it’s become a new kind of normal here, and I’m ok with that.