I’ve Got To Stop Dreaming About Poultry!

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Wow, weird, fast, long few days good Internet peeps.  A Day has been and gone and not all went to plan.  Apparently, according to the Internet, this is why I’ve been dreaming about poultry; baby poultry to be exact!

For the last few night’s I’ve been dreaming about chicks, ducklings and their eggs.  The fact that I’m dreaming (don’t often), coupled by this very weird pattern sent me off searching for meaning…

Dreaming of:

  • Birds – Hopes, goals and aspirations or a sunny disposition and that a weight has been lifted off of me
  • Chickens – Cowardice and lack of willpower and possible gossip about me
  • Ducks – Represent spiritual freedom, that I’m flexible,  I may also feel like a sitting duck or target.
  • Hatching Eggs  –  financial gain.   In my dream they turned into chicks, that doesn’t add up if we look above.  Unless I’m scared of more money… nah, doesn’t seem right, but send cash anyway, I’m happy to find out, all in the name of science you understand  😉  .

So taking into account all the above  I’m happily, optimistically, running from something scary, being talked about (hopefully about my adaptability, see “duck” LOL), afraid I’m about to be picked off, but apparently coming into some cash so I don’t care because I’m also spiritually free.  That’s quite a mix to wade* through.

Mind you, perhaps I’m just craving a good roast chicken or peking duck!  It’s possible, I’m partial to both.

The reality is that while there are some questions about where I’ll wind up professionally in the near future, I’m actually very excited about the changes being made, there’s a lot of opportunity for me to do new things and grow, and I can’t wait.

I’m very pleased that I’m tackling this without booze**, can you imagine the size of the birds I might be dreaming about if I was wine soaked as well!   I have to say that being trapped at a table of colleagues who had the advantage of taking the boredom edge off a 4 hr awards banquet with copious amounts of one of my favourite wines was tough, but I hung in there and consequently didn’t fall into the trap of the dreaded after party!  Perhaps I’m learning…

 

*duck pun unintended

**100 days yesterday, feeling very good physically and mentally

 

 

 

 

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Best “Chick Flick” Ever!

Crazy Cat Boy dragged me very unenthusiastically to see Marvel’s latest offering, apparently it’s a “must see” before the final Avengers Movie comes out.

So with an eye roll I settled down into the comfy cinema (wow, have cinema’s changed over the past few years or what? Talk about fancy!) and braced myself for a two hour, loud, super hero’s fight em’, boy movie.

I. Was. Wrong!

Captain Marvel is every super hero that I wanted to be as a kid, hell, she was even an ace pilot*!  And she got to go to space, and she could  fight, and she dressed cool, and she had an even cooler BFF… I might have been seriously crushing on this character by the end of the movie, can you tell?  LOL

Along with that, the plot was very good, it tied up a lot of loose ends and gave some historical context to important parts of the Marvel universe.   All in all, my review is Five Stars.  If you are looking for the ultimate chick flick, this is it.  Take your BFF, your daughters/nieces/grand daughters and show them girls really can do anything they want… Captain Marvel sure did.  😉

Ok, movie review done, it’s back to work… I ran into the EGM at my clients this morning, A Day is very close, he even had the comms plan in his hand!

Stay happy and sober everyone.

*Actually, I wanted to be the female Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica** series, long before Katee Sackhoff took on the role in the reboot.  I even looked at joining the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force), but they didn’t let girls fly fighters then so I didn’t see the point.  Mind you my ambition at 15 far outweighed my science and maths skills, so I might have hit a snag anyway!  LOL

**If you were a fan, don’t go back and re watch it, it has NOT stood the test of time!  I’ve suffered so you don’t have to, you’re welcome.  😉

A Day Approacheth!

It’s going to be a big week good internet peeps.  “A Day” or Announcement Day for some big changes in my professional world is about to arrive!

I think the stress might have been gradually creeping up on me as Friday night I had the strongest cravings for a drink that I’ve experienced in a really long time… I’m not sure how I’d have held up if someone had put a crisp flute of sparkling in my hand while I was sitting on the veranda watching the world go by!  But, I distracted myself with domestic tasks and struggled through, only to be tortured by a drinking dream that night.  I must have been struggling, not only was that the first ever drinking dream I’ve had, I was clearly desperate in it… I was drinking red wine out of a plastic glass!  Now, I’m no wine snob, but I am a glassware snob!  Anyone who knows me well knows that I’d go without than use plastic.

I’m that person, you know the one who has the right glass for every occasion.  Man, I must have thousands of dollars tied up in fancy glasses that we NEVER use… brandy balloon anyone?  Need tiny liqueur glasses, whisky tumblers, martini glasses or perhaps pilsner glasses for your beer*?  I’m your gal!  No idea why, I just love them all. Never used 80% of them, probably never will.  LOL

Glassware issues aside (no, I won’t be seeking help, I love them all), the dream quite rattled me.  However I played the craving through to the end – why in the world when this week is probably going to be one of the most important in my professional life until the “when to retire” one, would I decide to drink?  What possible good could come from it?  Nuthin’ at all!  And that’s the truth.

So I’m pushing on into this week clear headed and focused on what I want and what will be good for me and Crazy Cat boy long term.   I’m terrified and excited at the same time about all the unknowns that A Day will bring  and I can’t wait to find out. 

I promise to fill you in when I can.  Stay healthy and happy all!

*I don’t drink beer or spirits, or even cocktails at home, but I have full sets of each of these different glasses, you know, just in case  In case of what I don’t know, some are at least 15 yrs old and still have the stickers on them from the shop!  LOL

My app tells me it’s been 90 days since I drank, that’s 25% of my stated goal completed.  Once the dust is settled on A Day I’ll be close to 100 days – 104 days is my longest without a drink, I’m looking forward to beating that.

‘Stralia Day, The Booziest Weekend Of Them All

It’s Australia Day in my little patch of the world and along with all the controversy around the day itself, something I’m not going to get into here, it’s also a long weekend where getting blind (Aussie term for very drunk) is considered obligatory.  It’s downright un Australian not to write yourself off apparently.

We are off to friends for lunch and I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed, but on the kitchen table sits a very nice bottle of red wine.  I put it there last night to remind me to take it today as a gift for our hosts.  However, Crazy Cat Boy has been giving me weird looks and I can see his mind churning… “Is that for us, are we drinking today? What about this year off thing she was on about?”

The answer is no, I won’t be drinking today (I’ve got Kombucha in the fridge to take for me), and the great thing is that I also won’t get any stick from this set of friends about not drinking. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that my gay mates are always completely accepting of other peoples decisions.  I might get a polite inquiry as to why no booze, but I certainly won’t get grilled like I have been in other circumstances.

Last week I was staying in old home town with Super Sammie and caught up with a few friends for dinner…. one dear friend spent about 20 minutes hanging shit on me for not drinking and then pulled me aside later to seriously ask me if I was sick  –  Nope, not dying, just not drinking!  LOL.

I’m looking forward to today, for once I’ve got the right outfit, it’s no longer stupidly hot here and I’ll happily handover the wine to hosts and drink my Kombucha while eating too many sausages and possibly getting mildly sun burnt… it’d be un Australian  not to!  😉

The Booze Filter

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I had a good friend come and stay with me for a fun girls weekend, naturally there was lots of Instaing, discussion of different filters to apply and which photos could make the social channels.  This got me thinking about the variety of filters that we put on our lives.

I know I filter myself at work… good corporate worker drone, always the sensible one (ok, read the kill joy one, it’s probably closer to the mark! I’m the Terms and Conditions department LOL).

I absolutely filter my social media presence, well, us marketing types call it “curating content for audience”, coz we’re fancy like that 😉  Usually only the best thoughts, never a negative comment, keep the religion and politics out of it, checking in at the “right” spots.  You all know the drill, we all do it, even if subconsciously, we want people to think we are more glamorous than we are (well I am, I know some of you have awesomely interesting lives and jobs).

Then there is the filter that alcohol puts on your life, stops you seeing and feeling the real you.  It all goes a bit soft and fuzzy, like someone put an old school layer of vasoline over the lens.

I’ve got 7 days left on Belles 100 Day Challenge and I feel like the filter is off of my life for the first time in a long time.  The reality of where I am is confronting and a bit unsettling if I’m honest.  I’m worried that I’m also a bit dull. I don’t seem to have much to say of interest anymore IRL.  What happened to the girl that went out and found life wherever it was?  Now life just seems to be something that happens to me.

So, my next challenge is to turn my IRL into something that I don’t have to run a filter over, and I’m pretty sure that I’m going to continue this no booze challenge into the new year.

What will you be taking the filter off of?

Where’s all this cash come from?

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I stared at the computer screen for a while confused, scrolled though the bill pay list on the bank app, looked even more confused, checked that mortgage payments were clearing, nope, no answer there either.

So,where has all this extra cash in the account come from?

We must have missed paying a credit card bill, we are so about to be hit with an interest payment and overdue fee, Doh!  But the thing is, I can’t see where it’s happened.  Everything appears to be paid up and on time.

That was last Friday and it puzzled me all weekend. We lost incoming cash in January due to a job amendment in Crazy Cat Boy’s world, we’ve been going out to dinner and the movies regularly over the past few months, something we don’t normally do… apparently leaving the house gets in the way of slumping on the lounge in front of bad TV chugging back a couple of $25 bottles of wine, so going out wasn’t really on our agenda at all.

Now, we aren’t talking about a retire tomorrow sized amount, just more than enough to make me sit up and look for a problem.  The only thing I can think of is we are seeing the cumulative effect of 6 months of very little (and now no) booze, more organised food planning, me spitting the dummy at my car insurance renewal* and finding a better deal and some other $20 here, $10 there changes.

Now I know we were spending at least $100 on wine a week… Crazy Cat Boy god love him had it pegged at “about” $40 pw for some reason!  But this, coupled with these other small changes have put us in the position to put some more cash into our Vanguard EFT this week.  That’s our long term retirement income stream plan.

So not only will I live longer by laying off the booze I’ll also have the money to!  LOL

*I swear, Insurance is the only service that you buy where you are penalised for long term loyalty! What’s with that?  “Oh, you paid us on time for a service you haven’t used for 6 years, here’s a hefty increase in your premium for the next 12 months” Well I’m not taking it anymore!  Now, if I’d been drinking at the time I’d have ranted and raved and NOT done anything about changing service provider.  I’ve saved $30 per month with a quick Google and online quote.  Not bad for 10 minutes work on a sober Tuesday night.

Friends + Booze = Help?

Spent the weekend in the big smoke with friends we don’t see often.  Drinking has always been a big part of our time together so I’d warned them ahead of time that I was on the wagon via text so the shock wouldn’t be too much.  I knew I’d be “enthusiastically encouraged” to drink as Kate* is a very big drinker, as is her husband William*.  Mind you, I’m not about to crack on day 80 something for people I don’t see that often, so I wasn’t too concerned about any pressure.

Kate greeted us at the door, glass of red in hand and “Here are the teetotallers”.  Hmmm, might be a long couple of days I thought to myself.  Our not drinking was the topic du jour for almost the entire time we were together. Kate seemed keen to know the ins and outs (I kept it at “It’s an internet challenge”, while I love her dearly, she does love to share  juicy information with others and I don’t need my reasons out IRL!).

Around midnight Saturday after a couple of bottles of bubbles, the best part of a bottle of red** and sharing some very unsound taxation advice, Kate came out with “I just can’t face not drinking forever”.  She seemed genuinely sad and worried about her drinking and I’m now worried for her.  I didn’t judge, hell, who I am I to anyway? Three months ago I’d probably been having the same conversation, the only difference is that I’d be two bottles of bubbles in myself!  Instead I shared some of the blogs and the benefits that I was seeing from the time off and encouraged her gently to go for it if she wanted to.

I’ve come away from the experience wondering if I could do more to help.  I’ve sent the links I said I would and offered to do the 100 days with her – no issue for me, I’m going to do them anyway. I’ll wait and see if she decides to go that way and I’ll help in anyway I can.

FYI, I’ve all but decided that I’ll continue through until at least 1st Jan 2019 and really, if I can do that, then it’s only another 4 months to the year… got to be worth it right?

Oh, and 85 days of Belles 100 Day Challenge today… should be working, blogging here instead, somethings haven’t changed! LOL

 

*Not Kate’s or Williams real names.

** Kate had consumed, not me, I was good I promise! 

80 Days!

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Busy with work and not much to share but I’ve hit 80 days of Belle’s 100 Day Challenge today…….

(sorry for the delay in this post, just had to go and shoo a bird out of the back yard – the cats are out at the moment – the photo above should be captioned, “But why can’t we chase the bird?”)

……. Actually, I take that back, I do have something to share.  Work isn’t just busy, it’s Insane, yep, with a capital “I”.  I should feel like I’m drowning but I don’t, I feel calm.  I’m still not getting much done, so perhaps I’m not calm, perhaps I’ve gone into shock!  LOL.  In all reality though, it has to be down to not drinking, I’m also sleeping through the night and in these circumstances that’s just about unheard of for me.  Normally I’d either by laying awake worrying or at my laptop at 3 am trying to wade through it all. Something’s definitely changed.

I’ve also started the ground work for “the chat” with Crazy Cat Boy.  You know, the one where you gently break that this 100 day thing is probably going to become a 365 day thing.  Don’t want to scare him too badly all at once, I’ve got another 20 days to soften the eventual decision delivery.  😉

Have a happy and healthy day all!

 

Challenge Accepted!

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One of my fav TV characters of all times is Barney Stinson from HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother), his catch cry of “Challenge Accepted” always makes me smile, usually because it was attached to something that was never meant to be a challenge.

Well for the next 100 days “Challenge Accepted”* is going to be my catch cry as I take on Belles 100 Day Challenge – no booze until August 1st this year.

Crazy Cat Boy is concerned that this means “no drinking on your birthday” and I’m ok with that.  The next three months possibly could be make or break with me and what I do in my professional life for the next eight years that I plan on being full time.  I need all the focus and energy that I can muster up to make these next moves, and wine needs to be off the table to get me there.  I’ll check in with my progress regularly and I know I can get there, as of today it’s a 97 day challenge as I’ve already done 3 sober days.

What will be the challenge you accept?

*Ironically Barney usually uttered those words in a bar, beer in hand!

I’ve given up!

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Worry that is. You might remember when I gave up guilt?  Man, what a relief that was!  Now I’m going cold turkey on worry.

I made this decision yesterday and I feel a million times lighter.

It’s not that I don’t care, I do, I always will, but the emotion of worry? That I’ll pass on thanks very much.

Given than I’m an Olympic standard worrier, what’s brought this on? I hear you ask.  Well, it’s a couple of things…

First, a few weeks ago (keep it quiet, I’ve only told you fab internet peeps) I had my first anxiety attack in nearly twenty years.  It came out of nowhere and I think might have been linked to a very bad drinking session I’d had the week prior (yep, booze, the gift that keeps on giving).  It’d been so long that it took me a bit to work out what was happening and get myself under control – I was out in public with someone I don’t know that well. Given that I tend to pass out that could have been somewhat, um, er, “dramatic” and I much prefer a lower key presence!

Secondly, I’m in the middle of major projects with missed deadlines zooming past me and work piling up, so after a sleepless night I got up early, opened my email and my chest immediately tightened up.  Hmm, I was pretty sure at that point that something had to give, and I’d prefer it wasn’t me!

I’ve taken my body’s cues and listened; not only did I decide to give up worrying but I impulsively sent my resume off to several recruitment agencies.

I feel so much lighter and happier and amazingly I’ve been so much more productive.  I think I’ve achieved more in the last two days than I have in weeks.

I’ve told Crazy Cat Boy that I’d given up worrying, and he laughed and then looked startled when he realised I was serious.  It’ll be an uphill battle, but I think I can win this one, time will tell, but I don’t plan on worrying about it … well, not a lot, baby steps!  LOL

 

In case you are wondering, I’ve pretty much not been drinking since that day.  I’ll have one or two with friends over dinner, but that’s it from now on.