It’s Days like Today…

… that make me eternally thankful that I’m not dealing with it all hungover and foggy!

Nothing earth shattering, the world will continue to turn, but my work life is conspiring against me today. But instead of throwing all my toys out of the cot, I can simply respond calmly (well, I calmed down after a cup of tea if I’m honest), and effectively to fix the issues.

So, how’s things in everyone’s world?  Happy and healthy I hope!

PS: Is anyone else loving the mocktail game being brought by bars and restaurants ATM?  Standards are pretty high here in Melbourne.  Mind you we are the hipster capital of the world (are hipsters still a “thing?”, I’m way old LOL), so I’m not surprised.

 

OMG is it really nearly September?

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How has this happened good Internet people?  Not only is it nearly September I’ve not written since July!  See, this is what happens when work gets all logistics based instead of creative for me, I lose my drive to write.  Truth be told, I’m losing my drive around a lot of things ATM.

I’m not excersising, I’m eating badly and damn, did I want a drink over the past however many weeks it’s been.  I didn’t of course, but talk about some white knuckling. I’m pretty sure that comes down to the whole not practicing self care thing.  Work is getting at me with massive responsibilities and in my personal life ATM it seems that I’m the only one who can get things done (I’m not, and no one is expecting me to solve all their problems, I’m just having a pity party, so feel free to ignore me LOL).  Top it all off I came home from 3 days away to a mountain of bills, no cat food (which he casually mentioned AFTER the shops had shut and like he was sure I’d solve it – WTF?) and promptly developed a massive cold sore. So I’ve got cranky cats, I’m a cranky wife, I feel like the elephant woman, and I’ve got a dodgy bank balance and it’s only Monday… LOL, what else does the week hold for me I wonder?

So that’s my whinge for the day, thanks for listening everyone.  This weekend is my last “event” for the year, so at least the majority of my travel is over.  I’m leaving you with the image above… If this little toy can attempt such an ambitious job, I’m sure I’ll be fine as well. 😉

Stay healthy and happy all.

 

 

Appreciation & 6 Months

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Last week I was fortunate to travel to the Northern Territory for work and stayed on to catch up with Cousin Wendy who is running a business in the middle of no where.  I had no idea what type of pressure she was working under in her small business.  Times are tough in the NT, staff are hard to get and tourist numbers are down.  Cousin Wendy is living her life in 30 minute increments, constantly juggling staff and stock issues all while trying to have  whirlwind 3 day roadtrip* with me  – we covered 1600 km in 3 days! It really made me appreciate the slower pace that my life runs at, allowing me to experience things, rather than just ticking a box and moving on to the next thing to be done without stopping to breathe.

I’m not sure if it’s because I was born there, or because I was with one of my oldest friends, or if it was the amazing landscape and complete lack of phone coverage, but I felt a peace while I was on this trip.   I’ve come to appreciate my life more than ever before.  I have an AWESOME life and there is even more to be lived.

Along with this amazing roadtrip experience I also learnt more about a subject that most white Australian’s never hear about… how many Aboriginal Australian’s experience life in remote communities.  Cousin Wendy has daily interactions with her local community.  While alcohol, drugs and boredom create huge social and health issues within these townships, one thing I did take away is how important family is to the Aboriginal people, and the loyalty that these communities feel for family and those that support them. I don’t know what can be done to solve the issues that exist in these communities, certainly smarter, more culturally aware people that me have tried over the years, but I do hope that a solution is found.

Yesterday I celebrated** 6 months with no wine, and I have to say I’m feeling pretty damn happy and healthy.

*I would like to acknowledge the Bininj and Mungguy peoples of Kakadu and the Jawoyn people, traditional owners of Katherine Gorge.

** I had a chocolate quik to celebrate  🙂

Temptations Everywhere

It’s day 128 no booze for me and I’m travelling extensively for work this week – 4 different states in 4 days.  I’d never noticed before how much temptation there is to drink around travel.

Right now for instance I’m in a 3 hour layover in an airline lounge (fancy I know!  LOL) and the after work travel crowd are drinking up a storm – free booze, my favorite, sigh.

Sitting on my own in nice restaurants listening to champagne corks pop while I try to elegantly sip my coke is also quite trying as I discovered the other night.  To combat this the following night I had KFC for dinner and took myself off the the local movie theatre to keep occupied.

Tomorrow I’ve had to turn down an invitation to hold a business meeting at a cozy wine bar near my media providers office  – I came clean to them and announced my year off to emailed acclaim (I’m sure they think I’m crazy).

Last Saturday I dealt with the exclusive wine tasting that I arranged for my clients by escorting them to the venue and then “going to sound check with the dinner band” – really I was sitting in a cozy corner of the resort reading a book until they finished (more venues should have libraries for us non boozers to distract ourselves with), by then they were all so chirpy that they didn’t notice I wasn’t drinking – my cunning plan worked!

The rest of my country wide tour will be less booze focused and I can’t wait to get home to Crazy Cat Boy and the furry ones.

Stay happy and healthy everyone.

Longest Ever Booze Free

Well, it’s official, at 107 days today that’s 3 days longer than I’ve been booze free since my early 20s!

That’s pretty darn good, over 25% of my year off is completed and I’ve saved a bucket load of cash, my calm demeanor means I’ve not killed anyone at work*, my skin is good and I’m way fitter than I’ve been in a while.  All in all a pretty solid result.

No booze means that I know my experience last night was probably menopause related, not my body burning off toxins…  I spent the early hours of last night laying on the cool tiles in the lounge room trying to bring my core body temp down to a comfortable sleeping level while making up hot flush related words to the song “Summer Nights” from Grease as the girl cat circled wondering what the hell I was up to… perhaps I’ll record them one night while I’m being kept awake by my body turning on itself.  LOL

So, I’m a week out from turning 48, my second sober birthday in two years (I know, who’d have thunk it!) and while I’m clearly getting older, I’m feeling better than I have in years and know that I can face anything that comes at me.

Stay healthy and happy good peeps.

* Yet!  😉

I’ve Got To Stop Dreaming About Poultry!

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Wow, weird, fast, long few days good Internet peeps.  A Day has been and gone and not all went to plan.  Apparently, according to the Internet, this is why I’ve been dreaming about poultry; baby poultry to be exact!

For the last few night’s I’ve been dreaming about chicks, ducklings and their eggs.  The fact that I’m dreaming (don’t often), coupled by this very weird pattern sent me off searching for meaning…

Dreaming of:

  • Birds – Hopes, goals and aspirations or a sunny disposition and that a weight has been lifted off of me
  • Chickens – Cowardice and lack of willpower and possible gossip about me
  • Ducks – Represent spiritual freedom, that I’m flexible,  I may also feel like a sitting duck or target.
  • Hatching Eggs  –  financial gain.   In my dream they turned into chicks, that doesn’t add up if we look above.  Unless I’m scared of more money… nah, doesn’t seem right, but send cash anyway, I’m happy to find out, all in the name of science you understand  😉  .

So taking into account all the above  I’m happily, optimistically, running from something scary, being talked about (hopefully about my adaptability, see “duck” LOL), afraid I’m about to be picked off, but apparently coming into some cash so I don’t care because I’m also spiritually free.  That’s quite a mix to wade* through.

Mind you, perhaps I’m just craving a good roast chicken or peking duck!  It’s possible, I’m partial to both.

The reality is that while there are some questions about where I’ll wind up professionally in the near future, I’m actually very excited about the changes being made, there’s a lot of opportunity for me to do new things and grow, and I can’t wait.

I’m very pleased that I’m tackling this without booze**, can you imagine the size of the birds I might be dreaming about if I was wine soaked as well!   I have to say that being trapped at a table of colleagues who had the advantage of taking the boredom edge off a 4 hr awards banquet with copious amounts of one of my favourite wines was tough, but I hung in there and consequently didn’t fall into the trap of the dreaded after party!  Perhaps I’m learning…

 

*duck pun unintended

**100 days yesterday, feeling very good physically and mentally

 

 

 

 

A Day Approacheth!

It’s going to be a big week good internet peeps.  “A Day” or Announcement Day for some big changes in my professional world is about to arrive!

I think the stress might have been gradually creeping up on me as Friday night I had the strongest cravings for a drink that I’ve experienced in a really long time… I’m not sure how I’d have held up if someone had put a crisp flute of sparkling in my hand while I was sitting on the veranda watching the world go by!  But, I distracted myself with domestic tasks and struggled through, only to be tortured by a drinking dream that night.  I must have been struggling, not only was that the first ever drinking dream I’ve had, I was clearly desperate in it… I was drinking red wine out of a plastic glass!  Now, I’m no wine snob, but I am a glassware snob!  Anyone who knows me well knows that I’d go without than use plastic.

I’m that person, you know the one who has the right glass for every occasion.  Man, I must have thousands of dollars tied up in fancy glasses that we NEVER use… brandy balloon anyone?  Need tiny liqueur glasses, whisky tumblers, martini glasses or perhaps pilsner glasses for your beer*?  I’m your gal!  No idea why, I just love them all. Never used 80% of them, probably never will.  LOL

Glassware issues aside (no, I won’t be seeking help, I love them all), the dream quite rattled me.  However I played the craving through to the end – why in the world when this week is probably going to be one of the most important in my professional life until the “when to retire” one, would I decide to drink?  What possible good could come from it?  Nuthin’ at all!  And that’s the truth.

So I’m pushing on into this week clear headed and focused on what I want and what will be good for me and Crazy Cat boy long term.   I’m terrified and excited at the same time about all the unknowns that A Day will bring  and I can’t wait to find out. 

I promise to fill you in when I can.  Stay healthy and happy all!

*I don’t drink beer or spirits, or even cocktails at home, but I have full sets of each of these different glasses, you know, just in case  In case of what I don’t know, some are at least 15 yrs old and still have the stickers on them from the shop!  LOL

My app tells me it’s been 90 days since I drank, that’s 25% of my stated goal completed.  Once the dust is settled on A Day I’ll be close to 100 days – 104 days is my longest without a drink, I’m looking forward to beating that.

Could This Be The Start?

Hmm, woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, I know it wasn’t alcohol related so I hope it was just the massive amounts of roast lamb I ate for dinner, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t.  Not sure I like where this is going… surely I’m too young for menopause??!

Anything else I should be on the watch for?

No More Firsts?

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged?  Talk about not keeping new years resolutions!  LOL.

I’m at my clients ATM and upstairs my boss is in a meeting that could change the course of both our professional lives.. it’s hush, hush, so keep it between us please 😉

If it all comes together there’ll be a number of firsts I’ll have to deal with in the very near future, and that’s ok because I’m sleeping well (ATM) and feeling pretty damn healthy due to this not drinking jazz and getting plenty of exercise.

Hang on I hear you say, isn’t the title of this post “No More Firsts”?  And here she is rabbiting on about a bunch of firsts on the cards.  Nice catch!  I only attract the very smartest of readers !  🙂

I was thinking only this morning that I’m out of non drinking firsts.  Over the past 2 years while I’ve been taking longish periods away from my beloved wine I’ve actually covered them all at some point… Christmas, NYE, Birthdays, Funerals, Weekends away*, Conferences, Dinners with friends and enablers alike, Winery visits, the list goes on….  Hell, I’ve even had my MIL stay and not drink!  The only thing I’m missing is a wedding but we are past that in my circle ATM, so I think I’m good there.  It’s true what those who have gone before say, it does get easier, those firsts come and go and you go on with your journey a little bit surer that what you doing is right for you.

 

*After looking at me like I’d lost my mind when I said I was taking the year off booze, my colleague came out with “Oh good, we don’t have to walk back to the work show, you can drive us home!” It was his car and 40 degrees, so I was more than happy to drive the drunks home.  I do love how often Aussies immediate go to is  “You non drinking freak… here are my keys, you’re responsible for us all now”  LOL!  I also enjoyed waking up without a hangover the next morning in that heat,  that was the real bonus!

Which App Is More Socially Acceptable?

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Not mine for sure!

So, I told you good peeps that I was off to a BBQ at friends on Australia Day (I’m going to over look the fact that I actually screwed up and we drove 1.5 hrs each way on the wrong day and had to do it all over again the following day, completely messing up our long weekend plans*).

“Adventure” aside,  we had a lovely day (eventually!), our hosts were delighted to find that the bottle of wine was all for them. We proceeded to chat and eat the afternoon away.  Discussion turned, as it so often does with a bunch of middle to slightly older people sitting around, to health.

Crazy Cat Boy and I had explained that we were taking the year off booze**. He said so he could lose weight, that prompted fitness aspiration confessions from around the table,  within seconds phones were produced and fitness/health apps were flourished around and workout stats analysed (Boys!).

Apps are fabulous, but the thing that stood out to me is the boys (I was the only woman at the table, not unusual in my world) all had apps that were positive, they were providing their users with a “solution”… my app, a sobriety app, suggested to all that I had a “problem”.

I said so and that got a laugh from the group, but it got me thinking, is it a different mind set with guys when they set out to “improve” themselves?  Do women immediately go to a place where we decided that we aren’t good enough and that we have a problem that needs to be fixed? Do men look at things differently?   I never even considered downloading a fitness app. Do these even track drinking/non drinking as part of the overall health aspect?  (Dunno, haven’t looked and this was supposed to be a short post, I really have a lot of work to do today)

It’s an interesting concept to explore… I work with mostly men and don’t really have a whole lot of IRL interaction with women.  I do know that guys don’t do guilt, realising this and taking action to give up guilt myself has helped my mental health a lot.  Perhaps they don’t do imperfection either where they are concerned?

What about all of you out there? I know some of you good people are looking closely or actively working on your relationship with alcohol.  Thoughts on the female v male psyche on addressing this?

 

*Didn’t really, just wasted a day in travel. Thank goodness we weren’t hungover and cranky at each other, that could have been a long 1.5 hr trip home! LOL  We did go for a long walk and visit a nice garden that was on the “list of stuff to do”.