An Update From The Bubble

Ok, I think it’s fair to say I’ve been a little, um, relaxed, yep, let’s call it that when it comes to this blog over 2020.

Being couped up at home pretty much since mid March has had a definite impact on my creativity and any desire to write. But I’m still here and all in all Crazy Cat Boy and I are doing ok.

Highlights of the past few months. Well, as of last week I’m the proud holder of a Post Graduate Certificate and have been formally accepted into the Masters program. Never thought I’d hold a University qualification, let alone be doing my Masters.

We’ve both held on to our jobs and we generally get along pretty well. Plus we love where we live and have plenty of space to move around.

Oh, and my hair is now so long I purchased a curling wand! And before you ask, yes, having not used one since the 90’s I absolutely managed to burn myself. LOL

Low lights have been… I’m so bored and seriously lacking in motivation. I’m also very unfit and feeling it. To top it off I’m not sure if some of what I’m feeling is from being unfit or if it’s menopause, because on top of our little COVID issue, Australia is out of my contraceptive pill and it’s not due back in stock until October or possibly November. For someone who’s been in charge of their body since they were 17, this is a big change for me. Not the end of the world, there are alternatives, and let’s face it, being as I am in my, *cough* “extremely late* early 40’s“, the pregnancy risk is exceptionally low. However, I feel not quite myself. Yes, I could get a different prescription for the few months, but I’ve had problems in the past with different pills and this was initially only going to be a 2 month issue, which is turning into a 6 month stretch.

Reality is, like most of the world I’m in limbo and feeling out of sorts. I’m kind of mourning 2020 as I had a lot of plans that I can’t act on. Mind you, this is all minor stuff compared to what hundred’s of thousands of people around the world are going through, so ignore my pity party of one over here. 😉

So there you have it, my COVID experience in a nutshell. I hope you are all well out there. Stay safe and healthy good internet peeps.

* 49 counts as extremely late early 40’s in my book ok! 😉

Why Can’t My Grout Be As Dry As I Am?

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Sigh, damp grout in that damn ensuite shower AGAIN!   Mind you, if that’s my biggest  problem I’m doing ok  😉

So work’s still crazy, life here is trollying along, the girl cat is being adorable and very much in the way as I type this (typical, haven’t seen a cat all day, go to do something and there one is!) and my year booze free is coming to an end.  I’m seriously considering keeping life alcohol free.  I’ve gotten so much done this year, and come to understand a few truths (hard and otherwise) about myself and my life.  I must admit, never waking up feeling “off” or down right wishing I was dead has been very nice – think our household has used one pack of Panadol all year and we are wildly overstocked with my go to hangover prevention Vitamin B tablets (usually bought in bulk from Costco).

In a nutshell, I miss a good sparkling but I don’t miss the killer hangover (which I understand menopause will make worse)!   Not to mention the bucket load of money saved, or, rather spent on more productive things like the house and garden.

Regardless of where I land drinking wise, I’ve come along  way from that wildly hungover, irrational* morning last year where I threatened to sell the house and move over the leaking suite!  LOL

Right, I’m back off to move the hairdryer to another grout line. Wish me luck in getting and staying dry! Stay happy and healthy good internet peeps.

*And I don’t want to return to that state either.

 

 

It’s amazing what a difference a carrot can make.

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Photo by Zun Zun on Pexels.com

Well, it wasn’t just a carrot, but I’m sure the carrot played a part in pulling me out of my last post pity party.  After re reading my post I decided that I really didn’t have life to waste on feeling like that, so I put my big girl pants on (literally, my others are tight, so I had to put the larger ones on), went for a walk after work, made myself a healthy dinner (see carrot above) and ran a bath.  I also took myself off to bed early and today life seems so much better.

As I was laying in bed this morning planning the structure of this post, with the purring  girl cat under the quilt, wedged up against me like a small vibrating heat pad (something that my already super heated peri menopausal body didn’t need LOL), I thought about how lucky I am to have my health, both physically and mentally when so many aren’t given that option. So from here on out, I’ll try to keep it positive and keep myself moving forward while remembering to take care of what I have.

Thanks for all the well wishes after the last post, it does make a difference.  Stay healthy and happy!

Longest Ever Booze Free

Well, it’s official, at 107 days today that’s 3 days longer than I’ve been booze free since my early 20s!

That’s pretty darn good, over 25% of my year off is completed and I’ve saved a bucket load of cash, my calm demeanor means I’ve not killed anyone at work*, my skin is good and I’m way fitter than I’ve been in a while.  All in all a pretty solid result.

No booze means that I know my experience last night was probably menopause related, not my body burning off toxins…  I spent the early hours of last night laying on the cool tiles in the lounge room trying to bring my core body temp down to a comfortable sleeping level while making up hot flush related words to the song “Summer Nights” from Grease as the girl cat circled wondering what the hell I was up to… perhaps I’ll record them one night while I’m being kept awake by my body turning on itself.  LOL

So, I’m a week out from turning 48, my second sober birthday in two years (I know, who’d have thunk it!) and while I’m clearly getting older, I’m feeling better than I have in years and know that I can face anything that comes at me.

Stay healthy and happy good peeps.

* Yet!  😉

Could This Be The Start?

Hmm, woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, I know it wasn’t alcohol related so I hope it was just the massive amounts of roast lamb I ate for dinner, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t.  Not sure I like where this is going… surely I’m too young for menopause??!

Anything else I should be on the watch for?

Which App Is More Socially Acceptable?

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Not mine for sure!

So, I told you good peeps that I was off to a BBQ at friends on Australia Day (I’m going to over look the fact that I actually screwed up and we drove 1.5 hrs each way on the wrong day and had to do it all over again the following day, completely messing up our long weekend plans*).

“Adventure” aside,  we had a lovely day (eventually!), our hosts were delighted to find that the bottle of wine was all for them. We proceeded to chat and eat the afternoon away.  Discussion turned, as it so often does with a bunch of middle to slightly older people sitting around, to health.

Crazy Cat Boy and I had explained that we were taking the year off booze**. He said so he could lose weight, that prompted fitness aspiration confessions from around the table,  within seconds phones were produced and fitness/health apps were flourished around and workout stats analysed (Boys!).

Apps are fabulous, but the thing that stood out to me is the boys (I was the only woman at the table, not unusual in my world) all had apps that were positive, they were providing their users with a “solution”… my app, a sobriety app, suggested to all that I had a “problem”.

I said so and that got a laugh from the group, but it got me thinking, is it a different mind set with guys when they set out to “improve” themselves?  Do women immediately go to a place where we decided that we aren’t good enough and that we have a problem that needs to be fixed? Do men look at things differently?   I never even considered downloading a fitness app. Do these even track drinking/non drinking as part of the overall health aspect?  (Dunno, haven’t looked and this was supposed to be a short post, I really have a lot of work to do today)

It’s an interesting concept to explore… I work with mostly men and don’t really have a whole lot of IRL interaction with women.  I do know that guys don’t do guilt, realising this and taking action to give up guilt myself has helped my mental health a lot.  Perhaps they don’t do imperfection either where they are concerned?

What about all of you out there? I know some of you good people are looking closely or actively working on your relationship with alcohol.  Thoughts on the female v male psyche on addressing this?

 

*Didn’t really, just wasted a day in travel. Thank goodness we weren’t hungover and cranky at each other, that could have been a long 1.5 hr trip home! LOL  We did go for a long walk and visit a nice garden that was on the “list of stuff to do”.  

Getting Your Ducks In A Row(ish)

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Well good Internet people it’s week three of the new year, who’s still keeping their resolutions?  😉

I am, only 349 days left to meet my sober challenge (I’m a counter, what can I say!) and I’m making an effort to get my shit sorted nice and early in the year.

To this end, today I’ve booked a dentist appointment (to fill an annoying gap in my aging teeth) and to have my tax done next week. I’m also writing this at the same time as restoring my hair to its “natural” colour and removing that pesky lady mo LOL.

Ok, so none of this is very exciting, but it means I’m moving forward, something that I’ve been slow with in recent years.

So, this is me, gradually getting my ducks in a row, what are you going to do today to muster your ducks into whatever formation you’d like them to be in?

Back Fat & Booze

One of the “joys” of getting older is watching my body change… it’s doing stuff that I’ve never had to deal with before and I’m not happy about it.  Yeah, yeah, I know, age gracefully, be thankful that I have the chance, so many don’t, etc, etc… trust me I get all that but seriously, why can’t I just stay the shape I was?

I’m pretty lucky, I’m one of these people that have until the last few years been able to eat pretty much what I want and as long as I move a bit my weight doesn’t change a lot.

However, it was brought home to me by a young bra fitter recently that there’s been a change I really don’t like.  I was feeling a bit frumpy, as you do when you reach a certain age and decided that a new bra would cheer me up (why I thought this I have no idea. LOL).   So I trotted off to brand name underwear chain to get fitted.  All the bra’s I tried on provided me with a very sexy (NOT!) and unwelcome extra roll of fat poking out from under the arms and around the back.   “These don’t fit” I confidently tell the fitting assistant “They’re too tight, look at that bulge, let’s try another size”.  She casually looks me over and says “Nope, right size, don’t worry about that, everyone has them” she says in the comforting the old lady tone that only a retail sales assistant can carry off.

My first thought was – hey, I’m not everyone young lady! followed swiftly by, when did this happen to me, I’m not an extra roll of fat kind of person??!!

But you know what, I am now.  Years of booze (and brie)  have added an unwelcome layer of padding to my body.  It’s crept up gradually and I never noticed until I wasn’t happy with what I saw.

So, my existing bra’s aren’t uncomfortable because they are old, they are uncomfortable because I’m inhaling too much sugar and sitting around feeling hungover and sorry for myself.  Right then!

You know what, I’m tired of being tired and not being the best me.  So, 2019 is the year of “YES”, yes to opportunities, yes to new experiences, yes to no booze for the year and yes to recovering me.

PS: day ten no booze and I feel great… day ten is when the happy comes back… day 15 is where I forget what it’s like to drink and crack, so I’m on my guard!  

 

What’s with all the hair?

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Has anyone else noticed the inordinate amount of time you seem to spend plucking, waxing, dyeing or bleaching various patches of hair on your body as you get older???

It can’t be just me that appears to be morphing into some hybrid, greying werewolf surely?  All of a sudden the random “hair” on my chin has become “hairs” and there is something fine and long growing out of the side of my left rib cage, I can’t see it (coz, you know, old and blind apparently!) but I know it’s there because it keeps tickling my arm when I  undress.  Very irritating on a number of levels LOL.

The full  leg laser hair removal I “invested” in a decade ago to allow me to wear dresses without advanced planning is slowly but surely being ravaged by the hormones of time.  If I look closely there are a number of longish dark hairs reappearing.  Mind you I solve this by not looking closely that often… a strategy that will only work for so long before it becomes socially unacceptable however.

I’ve also noticed that my eyebrows have taken to random growth patterns and my bottles of root touch up don’t last nearly as long as they used to.  I’m considering growing my hair long again just to keep my dye budget* in check.   Add all this to the need for constant vigilance where my lady mustache is concerned and I’m not sure I have time for a full time career any longer.

However, as I’m not yet independently wealthy enough to give up this working malarkey  (and I can assure you, I checked), I’ll just have to make sure I schedule regular maintenance time, just like I do my laptop backups!

 

*The money I’m saving on booze is going on hair dye… ok that maybe a slight exaggeration, I drank A LOT, but still, you get my point. 😉

How did I get F%^&*ing old?

Ok, its’ been a weird week good internet peeps.  I should have been launching a couple of promotions, putting the finishing touches on my next quarter campaign and looking the very picture of health as I get ready for my first 100 days booze free to end.  But am I? Nope, I’m writing this from bed, my bed, which is a nice change as last week a Cold, that’s right, a Cold put me in hospital!

What The Actual Fuck?!

I thought I was at least experiencing something sexy and serious like stroke, but no, simply the mundane. I couldn’t see properly, which turns out is an issue as you cruise down the freeway at 100 km and then try and negotiate city traffic on a week day.  To say I made a strategic error going to work on Thursday is an understatement.

The lovely emergency department Dr (who was quite cute and well dressed for a 12 year old…. god he looked  young!) ran through all the tests, CT, MRI, bloods, you name it, they did them all (they came back negative for anything serious) and then announced that they were keeping me in for observation overnight. The head Neuro guy came in with his prep class (more well dressed 12 year old’s who’s name tags all inexplicably read “Dr”) the next day… I’d started to make very strong “my preference would be” type statements about them letting me go home, so I think they decided to call in the big guns to exert some authority over me.  LOL.  He proclaimed that I was free to go home and that as we age our eyes tend to turn and this coupled with my “compromised immune system”, eg, case of the sniffles (FFS!), can manifest in blurred vision and it should sort itself out.

So that’s my life now is it? A couple of sneezes and I become some sort of house bound invalid?  Bloody hell, this is a bit shit right?  I’m supposed to be celebrating 100 days booze free tomorrow and instead I’ll be trying to muster up the energy to shower!

Got to tell you, I didn’t see this coming.  I’m grateful that I live in a country where I could pull up at the hospital emergency department and within a few hours find myself having undergone a battery of expensive tests and tucked up in bed for the night and it won’t cost me a thing*.  We are very lucky here in Australia to have such a fabulous system of public healthcare.

 

*It does cost via tax, but I’m ok with that, I think we should have a system where we can offer the very best healthcare to all, especially people who can’t afford it.  Not that I’ve used our public medical system like this before, I’ve never been admitted as a public patient. In fact the last time I was in hospital I was 22 and having wisdom teeth out.  I must point out that I’m kidding around, the 12 year old Drs, while looking like mini hipsters, knew their stuff and were very thorough and professional.