Worry that is. You might remember when I gave up guilt? Man, what a relief that was! Now I’m going cold turkey on worry.
I made this decision yesterday and I feel a million times lighter.
It’s not that I don’t care, I do, I always will, but the emotion of worry? That I’ll pass on thanks very much.
Given than I’m an Olympic standard worrier, what’s brought this on? I hear you ask. Well, it’s a couple of things…
First, a few weeks ago (keep it quiet, I’ve only told you fab internet peeps) I had my first anxiety attack in nearly twenty years. It came out of nowhere and I think might have been linked to a very bad drinking session I’d had the week prior (yep, booze, the gift that keeps on giving). It’d been so long that it took me a bit to work out what was happening and get myself under control – I was out in public with someone I don’t know that well. Given that I tend to pass out that could have been somewhat, um, er, “dramatic” and I much prefer a lower key presence!
Secondly, I’m in the middle of major projects with missed deadlines zooming past me and work piling up, so after a sleepless night I got up early, opened my email and my chest immediately tightened up. Hmm, I was pretty sure at that point that something had to give, and I’d prefer it wasn’t me!
I’ve taken my body’s cues and listened; not only did I decide to give up worrying but I impulsively sent my resume off to several recruitment agencies.
I feel so much lighter and happier and amazingly I’ve been so much more productive. I think I’ve achieved more in the last two days than I have in weeks.
I’ve told Crazy Cat Boy that I’d given up worrying, and he laughed and then looked startled when he realised I was serious. It’ll be an uphill battle, but I think I can win this one, time will tell, but I don’t plan on worrying about it … well, not a lot, baby steps! LOL
In case you are wondering, I’ve pretty much not been drinking since that day. I’ll have one or two with friends over dinner, but that’s it from now on.
Musings Of A Crazy Cat Lady 