I PASSED!!

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OMG team, I had to share… just got my first assignment results back from my post grad journey and I PASSED!!

Pheew!

I was terrified I wouldn’t as I’ve never studied at this level before and was seriously beginning to think I wasn’t nearly as smart as I thought I was and that I’d be embarrassed in front of those people who knew I was studying.   But, I got a nice, solid, dependable high credit.  I would have been happy with a straight pass, but now I’m wondering if I have a distinction inside of me LOL.

That’s it for now, nothing much else to report.  Still not drinking, work ramping up, fitness still not quite there (I’ve discovered a strength issue with my right knee that needs work), but all is tracking along ok.

Stay happy and healthy all.

10 Things I Missed Out On By Quitting Booze For A Year

Everyone writes about all the life life changing and affirming stuff that giving up the “demon drink”, brings.  The internet is full of positive, uplifting, fluffy cloud, I achieved my life goals stuff.  So here’s some of the stuff that no one tells you you’ll miss out on doing when you quit drinking.  I’ve not done any of the below in the last 12 months…

  1. I never didn’t put the bins out
  2. I haven’t forgotten to put the  leftover dinner “cooling” in the microwave in the fridge instead of finding it the next morning when it’s ruined.
  3. I’ve not been to bed unsure of why I’m mad at Crazy Cat Boy.  Sure, I still went to be mad at him, we’ve been together over 20 years, but I’ve known why.  He might not have, but I was across it!  😉
  4. I’ve not cleaned the toilet to make sure it was less disgusting to throw up into later that night (That’s not weird at all right???)
  5. I’ve not bulk purchased vitamin B pills (my go to hangover prevention method)
  6. I’ve not woken up to a disaster zone kitchen as I’ve been capable of cleaning it the night before going to bed.
  7. I’ve not had to plan advanced logistics to get to and from any event.  I’ve just jumped in the car and gone wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
  8. I’ve not looked at an email and been incapable of responding because I was hungover and unable to “deal”.  Any inability/desire to not respond was purely based on the inconceivable stupidity of what I was reading and my clear decision not to exacerbate the situation.
  9. I’ve never forgotten to water the garden
  10. I’ve not woken up thinking “This has to stop”

Yeah, ok, this wasn’t the post you thought it was going to be was it?  But, kudos to you, you made it through.  So, if you want to know the truth and give booze a rest, it can only bring good things, even if it’s the “stuff” you miss out on.  😉

Learning To Fly

Before anyone ducks and panics, no, it’s not me learning to fly! LOL.  It’s spring and that means fledgling birds. In my case 3 bumbly, fluffy magpie chicks who’s parents have decided that our back yard is the perfect place to raise their family*

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve spent hours watching** these guys go from taking all day to fly out of our yard (There’s been lots of sleeping in the sun, tucked into the mulch in our garlic bed to help recruit their strength and playing chasey with each other; which is completely adorable to watch), to this morning where after noisy chirping for mum and dad to come and feed them, they are now flying easily in unison over the neighbourhood.

By next week they will have lost most of their fluff and be nearly full grown, independent birds who have mastered all the skills they need for life.  If only we humans could do the same, things would be so much easier, dull but easier.  However, if we are lucky, we continue to learn all of our lives, uncovering more layers and skills that help us live fuller lives.

I’m sure there was a point to this post, but I’ve stopped while writing to answer some emails and I’ve lost my train of thought (typical!).  So, I’ll wish you all a great Friday and say that this weekend, take the time and do something that brings you as much joy as playing tug o war with a garlic leaf brings to two baby magpies!

*This is despite the cats, who thanks to constant swooping by said parents are now to traumatised to go into their own yard… they just sit at the door and look upon the outside  while twitching when they hear a bird. Brave they are not!

**My office window looks into the backyard so I’ve also been working I promise 😉

Shame and Depression…

… went jeans shopping on the weekend, ‘nuf said!

Sigh, if only the Australian retail market catered for everyone like the USA, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be feeling like this.  I’ve never been what you’d call a standard size when it comes to jeans, so I wear what I’ve got for as long as I can, and the point is coming where I won’t be able to go out in public!  LOL.

While I’ve apparently shrunk in size (the last time I shopped all jeans were made for statuesque super models and required anywhere from 10 – 15 cm taken off the bottom, and I’m not paying $$$ for something only to pay more to have them actually fit me).  This time, while I’m the correct height for fashion, apparently my thighs are not on spec and I’ll need to have a rib or two removed to allow the inaccurately named waistband to do up.  God help me if I wanted to digest something, that would have to wait until undressing!

So after this weekends depressing* event I’m going to try and eek out my last precious few pairs of American Eagle Outfitter jeans for a whole year until I hit the USA next October.

And as if the above is not tragic enough, in a few months Super Sammie and I are heading to Bali and that requires bathers –  Oh the horror!!  Wish me luck!

 

* I’m using the word depression tongue in cheek here, however I’d like to acknowledge that depression is a very real and serious condition that impacts a lot of people.  If you think you might be suffering, please speak to someone, there is help out there.

 

It’s amazing what a difference a carrot can make.

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Photo by Zun Zun on Pexels.com

Well, it wasn’t just a carrot, but I’m sure the carrot played a part in pulling me out of my last post pity party.  After re reading my post I decided that I really didn’t have life to waste on feeling like that, so I put my big girl pants on (literally, my others are tight, so I had to put the larger ones on), went for a walk after work, made myself a healthy dinner (see carrot above) and ran a bath.  I also took myself off to bed early and today life seems so much better.

As I was laying in bed this morning planning the structure of this post, with the purring  girl cat under the quilt, wedged up against me like a small vibrating heat pad (something that my already super heated peri menopausal body didn’t need LOL), I thought about how lucky I am to have my health, both physically and mentally when so many aren’t given that option. So from here on out, I’ll try to keep it positive and keep myself moving forward while remembering to take care of what I have.

Thanks for all the well wishes after the last post, it does make a difference.  Stay healthy and happy!

OMG is it really nearly September?

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How has this happened good Internet people?  Not only is it nearly September I’ve not written since July!  See, this is what happens when work gets all logistics based instead of creative for me, I lose my drive to write.  Truth be told, I’m losing my drive around a lot of things ATM.

I’m not excersising, I’m eating badly and damn, did I want a drink over the past however many weeks it’s been.  I didn’t of course, but talk about some white knuckling. I’m pretty sure that comes down to the whole not practicing self care thing.  Work is getting at me with massive responsibilities and in my personal life ATM it seems that I’m the only one who can get things done (I’m not, and no one is expecting me to solve all their problems, I’m just having a pity party, so feel free to ignore me LOL).  Top it all off I came home from 3 days away to a mountain of bills, no cat food (which he casually mentioned AFTER the shops had shut and like he was sure I’d solve it – WTF?) and promptly developed a massive cold sore. So I’ve got cranky cats, I’m a cranky wife, I feel like the elephant woman, and I’ve got a dodgy bank balance and it’s only Monday… LOL, what else does the week hold for me I wonder?

So that’s my whinge for the day, thanks for listening everyone.  This weekend is my last “event” for the year, so at least the majority of my travel is over.  I’m leaving you with the image above… If this little toy can attempt such an ambitious job, I’m sure I’ll be fine as well. 😉

Stay healthy and happy all.

 

 

I’ve Got To Stop Dreaming About Poultry!

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Wow, weird, fast, long few days good Internet peeps.  A Day has been and gone and not all went to plan.  Apparently, according to the Internet, this is why I’ve been dreaming about poultry; baby poultry to be exact!

For the last few night’s I’ve been dreaming about chicks, ducklings and their eggs.  The fact that I’m dreaming (don’t often), coupled by this very weird pattern sent me off searching for meaning…

Dreaming of:

  • Birds – Hopes, goals and aspirations or a sunny disposition and that a weight has been lifted off of me
  • Chickens – Cowardice and lack of willpower and possible gossip about me
  • Ducks – Represent spiritual freedom, that I’m flexible,  I may also feel like a sitting duck or target.
  • Hatching Eggs  –  financial gain.   In my dream they turned into chicks, that doesn’t add up if we look above.  Unless I’m scared of more money… nah, doesn’t seem right, but send cash anyway, I’m happy to find out, all in the name of science you understand  😉  .

So taking into account all the above  I’m happily, optimistically, running from something scary, being talked about (hopefully about my adaptability, see “duck” LOL), afraid I’m about to be picked off, but apparently coming into some cash so I don’t care because I’m also spiritually free.  That’s quite a mix to wade* through.

Mind you, perhaps I’m just craving a good roast chicken or peking duck!  It’s possible, I’m partial to both.

The reality is that while there are some questions about where I’ll wind up professionally in the near future, I’m actually very excited about the changes being made, there’s a lot of opportunity for me to do new things and grow, and I can’t wait.

I’m very pleased that I’m tackling this without booze**, can you imagine the size of the birds I might be dreaming about if I was wine soaked as well!   I have to say that being trapped at a table of colleagues who had the advantage of taking the boredom edge off a 4 hr awards banquet with copious amounts of one of my favourite wines was tough, but I hung in there and consequently didn’t fall into the trap of the dreaded after party!  Perhaps I’m learning…

 

*duck pun unintended

**100 days yesterday, feeling very good physically and mentally

 

 

 

 

A Day Approacheth!

It’s going to be a big week good internet peeps.  “A Day” or Announcement Day for some big changes in my professional world is about to arrive!

I think the stress might have been gradually creeping up on me as Friday night I had the strongest cravings for a drink that I’ve experienced in a really long time… I’m not sure how I’d have held up if someone had put a crisp flute of sparkling in my hand while I was sitting on the veranda watching the world go by!  But, I distracted myself with domestic tasks and struggled through, only to be tortured by a drinking dream that night.  I must have been struggling, not only was that the first ever drinking dream I’ve had, I was clearly desperate in it… I was drinking red wine out of a plastic glass!  Now, I’m no wine snob, but I am a glassware snob!  Anyone who knows me well knows that I’d go without than use plastic.

I’m that person, you know the one who has the right glass for every occasion.  Man, I must have thousands of dollars tied up in fancy glasses that we NEVER use… brandy balloon anyone?  Need tiny liqueur glasses, whisky tumblers, martini glasses or perhaps pilsner glasses for your beer*?  I’m your gal!  No idea why, I just love them all. Never used 80% of them, probably never will.  LOL

Glassware issues aside (no, I won’t be seeking help, I love them all), the dream quite rattled me.  However I played the craving through to the end – why in the world when this week is probably going to be one of the most important in my professional life until the “when to retire” one, would I decide to drink?  What possible good could come from it?  Nuthin’ at all!  And that’s the truth.

So I’m pushing on into this week clear headed and focused on what I want and what will be good for me and Crazy Cat boy long term.   I’m terrified and excited at the same time about all the unknowns that A Day will bring  and I can’t wait to find out. 

I promise to fill you in when I can.  Stay healthy and happy all!

*I don’t drink beer or spirits, or even cocktails at home, but I have full sets of each of these different glasses, you know, just in case  In case of what I don’t know, some are at least 15 yrs old and still have the stickers on them from the shop!  LOL

My app tells me it’s been 90 days since I drank, that’s 25% of my stated goal completed.  Once the dust is settled on A Day I’ll be close to 100 days – 104 days is my longest without a drink, I’m looking forward to beating that.

Could This Be The Start?

Hmm, woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, I know it wasn’t alcohol related so I hope it was just the massive amounts of roast lamb I ate for dinner, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t.  Not sure I like where this is going… surely I’m too young for menopause??!

Anything else I should be on the watch for?

No More Firsts?

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged?  Talk about not keeping new years resolutions!  LOL.

I’m at my clients ATM and upstairs my boss is in a meeting that could change the course of both our professional lives.. it’s hush, hush, so keep it between us please 😉

If it all comes together there’ll be a number of firsts I’ll have to deal with in the very near future, and that’s ok because I’m sleeping well (ATM) and feeling pretty damn healthy due to this not drinking jazz and getting plenty of exercise.

Hang on I hear you say, isn’t the title of this post “No More Firsts”?  And here she is rabbiting on about a bunch of firsts on the cards.  Nice catch!  I only attract the very smartest of readers !  🙂

I was thinking only this morning that I’m out of non drinking firsts.  Over the past 2 years while I’ve been taking longish periods away from my beloved wine I’ve actually covered them all at some point… Christmas, NYE, Birthdays, Funerals, Weekends away*, Conferences, Dinners with friends and enablers alike, Winery visits, the list goes on….  Hell, I’ve even had my MIL stay and not drink!  The only thing I’m missing is a wedding but we are past that in my circle ATM, so I think I’m good there.  It’s true what those who have gone before say, it does get easier, those firsts come and go and you go on with your journey a little bit surer that what you doing is right for you.

 

*After looking at me like I’d lost my mind when I said I was taking the year off booze, my colleague came out with “Oh good, we don’t have to walk back to the work show, you can drive us home!” It was his car and 40 degrees, so I was more than happy to drive the drunks home.  I do love how often Aussies immediate go to is  “You non drinking freak… here are my keys, you’re responsible for us all now”  LOL!  I also enjoyed waking up without a hangover the next morning in that heat,  that was the real bonus!