Shame and Depression…

… went jeans shopping on the weekend, ‘nuf said!

Sigh, if only the Australian retail market catered for everyone like the USA, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be feeling like this.  I’ve never been what you’d call a standard size when it comes to jeans, so I wear what I’ve got for as long as I can, and the point is coming where I won’t be able to go out in public!  LOL.

While I’ve apparently shrunk in size (the last time I shopped all jeans were made for statuesque super models and required anywhere from 10 – 15 cm taken off the bottom, and I’m not paying $$$ for something only to pay more to have them actually fit me).  This time, while I’m the correct height for fashion, apparently my thighs are not on spec and I’ll need to have a rib or two removed to allow the inaccurately named waistband to do up.  God help me if I wanted to digest something, that would have to wait until undressing!

So after this weekends depressing* event I’m going to try and eek out my last precious few pairs of American Eagle Outfitter jeans for a whole year until I hit the USA next October.

And as if the above is not tragic enough, in a few months Super Sammie and I are heading to Bali and that requires bathers –  Oh the horror!!  Wish me luck!

 

* I’m using the word depression tongue in cheek here, however I’d like to acknowledge that depression is a very real and serious condition that impacts a lot of people.  If you think you might be suffering, please speak to someone, there is help out there.

 

Advertisements

No More Firsts?

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged?  Talk about not keeping new years resolutions!  LOL.

I’m at my clients ATM and upstairs my boss is in a meeting that could change the course of both our professional lives.. it’s hush, hush, so keep it between us please 😉

If it all comes together there’ll be a number of firsts I’ll have to deal with in the very near future, and that’s ok because I’m sleeping well (ATM) and feeling pretty damn healthy due to this not drinking jazz and getting plenty of exercise.

Hang on I hear you say, isn’t the title of this post “No More Firsts”?  And here she is rabbiting on about a bunch of firsts on the cards.  Nice catch!  I only attract the very smartest of readers !  🙂

I was thinking only this morning that I’m out of non drinking firsts.  Over the past 2 years while I’ve been taking longish periods away from my beloved wine I’ve actually covered them all at some point… Christmas, NYE, Birthdays, Funerals, Weekends away*, Conferences, Dinners with friends and enablers alike, Winery visits, the list goes on….  Hell, I’ve even had my MIL stay and not drink!  The only thing I’m missing is a wedding but we are past that in my circle ATM, so I think I’m good there.  It’s true what those who have gone before say, it does get easier, those firsts come and go and you go on with your journey a little bit surer that what you doing is right for you.

 

*After looking at me like I’d lost my mind when I said I was taking the year off booze, my colleague came out with “Oh good, we don’t have to walk back to the work show, you can drive us home!” It was his car and 40 degrees, so I was more than happy to drive the drunks home.  I do love how often Aussies immediate go to is  “You non drinking freak… here are my keys, you’re responsible for us all now”  LOL!  I also enjoyed waking up without a hangover the next morning in that heat,  that was the real bonus!

Getting Your Ducks In A Row(ish)

img_0809

Well good Internet people it’s week three of the new year, who’s still keeping their resolutions?  😉

I am, only 349 days left to meet my sober challenge (I’m a counter, what can I say!) and I’m making an effort to get my shit sorted nice and early in the year.

To this end, today I’ve booked a dentist appointment (to fill an annoying gap in my aging teeth) and to have my tax done next week. I’m also writing this at the same time as restoring my hair to its “natural” colour and removing that pesky lady mo LOL.

Ok, so none of this is very exciting, but it means I’m moving forward, something that I’ve been slow with in recent years.

So, this is me, gradually getting my ducks in a row, what are you going to do today to muster your ducks into whatever formation you’d like them to be in?

What’s with all the hair?

eye

Has anyone else noticed the inordinate amount of time you seem to spend plucking, waxing, dyeing or bleaching various patches of hair on your body as you get older???

It can’t be just me that appears to be morphing into some hybrid, greying werewolf surely?  All of a sudden the random “hair” on my chin has become “hairs” and there is something fine and long growing out of the side of my left rib cage, I can’t see it (coz, you know, old and blind apparently!) but I know it’s there because it keeps tickling my arm when I  undress.  Very irritating on a number of levels LOL.

The full  leg laser hair removal I “invested” in a decade ago to allow me to wear dresses without advanced planning is slowly but surely being ravaged by the hormones of time.  If I look closely there are a number of longish dark hairs reappearing.  Mind you I solve this by not looking closely that often… a strategy that will only work for so long before it becomes socially unacceptable however.

I’ve also noticed that my eyebrows have taken to random growth patterns and my bottles of root touch up don’t last nearly as long as they used to.  I’m considering growing my hair long again just to keep my dye budget* in check.   Add all this to the need for constant vigilance where my lady mustache is concerned and I’m not sure I have time for a full time career any longer.

However, as I’m not yet independently wealthy enough to give up this working malarkey  (and I can assure you, I checked), I’ll just have to make sure I schedule regular maintenance time, just like I do my laptop backups!

 

*The money I’m saving on booze is going on hair dye… ok that maybe a slight exaggeration, I drank A LOT, but still, you get my point. 😉

10 “Amazing” Things That Happen When You Stop Drinking

 

20171101_105123Not much time to play today but wanted to celebrate yesterday’s milestone – 70 days of Belles 100 Day Challenge done and dusted!

Everyone talks about the obvious benefits of not drinking, health, self worth, better relationships, hope, etc, etc… Ok so they are pretty big etc’s LOL!  But, I’ve noticed some other more everyday “amazing things” that I thought I’d share, and before you ask, yes, my life really is that exciting that I’ve noticed these  😉 …

  1. My bins are mostly empty (we are generating at least 1/2 as much recycling, no bottles, but  weirdly only about 1/3 of the hard rubbish we were prior)
  2. I put the bins out and bring them in without whinging about it (or feeling hard done by)
  3. Washing gets put away (often on the same day it dries!)
  4. I know if I’m being lazy but don’t care (because it’s my choice, not my hangover)
  5. I remember to take bags with me to the shops (so I don’t have to stuff 3 days worth of food into my Furla tote at the cash register and suffer the odd looks from the checkout girls)
  6. I’m calmer at Bunnings (normally the place makes me lose the will to live (it’s a hardware store here in Australia if you are wondering))
  7. I’m more assertive with the remote control at home
  8. If the dirty microwave bothers me, I clean it!  (I know, right??)
  9. I’ve been composting more diligently
  10. I’ve been using all of my social media feeds, yes, even SnapChat (I still don’t really understand how it works – all my “stories” consist of one image and a random filter #SocialMediaMarketingGuru  #Not LOL)

 

So, that’s my benign 70 day sober challenge update.  Small things but they can make quite a difference in my everyday slightly mundane life.  Big things have changed as well, however they’ve been well documented by more eloquent bloggers than this Crazy Cat Lady.  I’d love to hear your “small thing”, so feel free to play along below!

Sugar Made Me Do It

lemon cake

I’ve talked about how Crazy Cat Boy is helping me with my 100 Day Challenge but what I’ve not talked about is how I’m helping him achieve some goals of his own.  His goals are DELICIOUS!

We were given Poh Ling Yeow’s 100 Great Bakes cookbook last year for Christmas and he’s picked out a number of fabulous (and rich items) that he’d like to make.  First it was the decedent vanilla slice, which looked nothing like the vanilla slices of my school canteen days!  Mmm, the cream patisserie, for a woman who doesn’t like custardy things was divine.   Then this weekend gone it was the Lemon Curd Meringue Sponge cake… light, fluffy cake, zingy lemon curd all encased in the lightest chewiest meringue you’ve ever encountered.  Tonight will be puff pastry with leftover curd, Chantilly cream and meringue, coz, you know, food waste is such a crime against the environment (and my jeans it’s turning out).   Next weekend it’s the cinnamon scrolls, can’t wait!

Now here’s the kicker it’s been cold out here in wine country and it’s bloody dark in the mornings and I’ve been particularly slack around getting on the bike in these conditions.  This combined with the intense amount of sugar that I’ve been inhaling (I had lemon sponge for breakfast yesterday – don’t judge me, lemon is fruit and cream is just not runny milk!) and not only are my clothes feeling a bit tight but the wonderful head hits pillow out like a light sleep that I’ve been experiencing since not drinking has GONE.

I had forgotten how ordinary I feel when I don’t sleep and can’t believe that I normally operated like this.   I blame the sugar.  The only other option is that we’ve been going to bed a ridiculously early time since I’ve been on the challenge, perhaps I’ve caught up on all the sleep I’ve missed over the years in the past 60 odd days.  Yeah, I know, it’s unlikely.  LOL

As addictions go I think sugar is right up there, just writing this after my second day of no sleep has my mind is wandering through the contents of the pantry to see what in there that is sweet is readily available to sooth my craving.  I might have to address this one at some point.  But until then I’ll continue to support CCB in his endeavours… the sugar and love made me do it!

PS: In case anyone is wondering at nearly 70 days in I feel more “awake” now than I have in years regardless of the sleep issue. I’m thinking this 100 days might need to be extended.

The Harsh Truth Of Pencil Skirts

pencil skirt.jpgIt’s been a while, but I’m back baby!

Work and life have been busy and I’ve been stuck in a creative rut that there was no need to subject you to!

The work situation is still up in the air due to our Game of Thrones situation – the Iron Throne is still vacant.  The court rumour mill has it while the seat of power is attractive the gold, or lack thereof is not enough to temp an heir into the citadel.

I’m riding it out and doing as much contingency planning as I can.  I like my job but I need to accept that nothing will change in the short term.  So, I’m putting on my big girl panties, sucking it up and getting over it.

I’ve put myself on the wagon wine wise to try and get fit – ok, lose some weight, my new undies don’t fit and I had delusions of grandeur that I could wear a white pencil skirt (to go with my rashly purchased fabulous jacket that matches NOTHING I own).  Until I tried it on that is.  Why is it that white only serves to highlight cellulite? I had a long and depressing talk with myself in the change rooms at Cue a couple of weeks ago while trying to convince myself that with a bit of spanks action I could get away with the sleek white look.  Fortunately for my bank balance the realist in me won, so I don’t have yet another expensive item in my wardrobe that I can’t wear.

Another reason for the temporary wine wagon is that I’ve been reading Sober Mummy’s blog (it’s fabulous, check it out) and some other blogs in the sober sphere and thought that it would be good for me to take a break.  While I don’t drink every day, when I do I drink way more than I should.  I don’t like the path that this habit could take me down so I’m taking action.

So that’s it for me for today.  I’ll be back soon I promise!

Wardrobe Crisis!

wear 2

What happened to generate this eye catching, dramatic headline you ask?  It started innocently enough; I was invited to the Australian Open with friends who are also business associates.  The problem is this meant “casual”.

“Casual” has always escaped me; I’m not good with casual.  Formal I nail, my work look is money no matter where you put me, but casual???

Hmmm…the tennis, right, fine: cargos, wedges, cute top, done.  But then lunch was mentioned and that threw me, lunch where? Were my cargos going to cut it? The top I was going to wear certainly wasn’t.  What now?

In my twenties this was never a problem. Lunch with the Queen, that ultra-cute white Cue outfit with the floaty skirt and short sleeved double breasted jacket would be perfect. Impromptu ski trip, no dramas; Day at the beach, sorted; Drinks with the PM, let me change my shoes and we are good to go.  I was never short of an appropriate outfit.  Now a simple trip to a slightly swankier shopping centre can throw me.

When did I go from finger on the pulse of fashion and always feeling put together to this slightly uncomfortable feeling that my shoes aren’t quite right?  Sigh.

Well, must fly, someone mentioned afternoon drinks at their place in February and I’ve got some serous planning to do!

PS: in case you are wondering I went with a good top, skinny jeans, the wedges and was boiling hot all day. My hosts showed up in shorts and thongs!  I can’t win. LOL

Winning @ The Post Christmas Sales 

shopping

Is it irrational to buy a new quilt cover because it matches the top you brought?  No?  See, now that is why we are friends!

It was an impulse buy when I hit the post Christmas sales.  I was on a high after a successful gift card shopping spree:  You know that feeling you get when it all falls into place and you get exactly what you want AND it’s on sale?

I don’t shop often, but when I do I find it difficult to get exactly what I want, then I get cranky because I don’t want to compromise, so to find everything I wanted had the same effect as downing a couple of glasses of bubbly on an empty stomach. I was swanning though the shopping centre, proudly swinging my new shiny shopping bags feeling a million dollars with a dopey grin on my face.

Not only did it match my new swanky casual but smart top, it was in the colours that Crazy Cat Boy had been hinting he’d like towels in. That made this lovely quilt set at 50% off a sign from the shopping gods.  I’d been resisting the change in towels as this is a big thing for me – I carefully coordinate my bedroom so it matches all the towels, tea towels , cushion covers and napkins throughout the house (Yes I have a problem, no I won’t be working on it.  Matching stuff is just who I am.  On hearing that I had gotten a cat, the first thing Cousin Wendy asked me was “does it match the couch?”*).

So on my next washing day, think of me as I gleefully change the “red/grey” theme for the new “blue/grey**” one.  I’ll still be wearing that big dopey grin as I slip on the European pillow covers.

*For the record no he didn’t and 18 years later he’s still dropping fur on stuff he doesn’t match.

**Ikea had perfectly matching cushion covers on sale when I dropped in there this week, so naturally I’m also the proud owner of new covers as well, so it really was a sign!  😉

I Have A Dirty Little Secret

secret 4

 

 

 

 

 

My name is Crazy Cat Lady and I’m an addict.  That’s the first step right, admitting you have a problem?  I was the last person I thought this would happen to.  I’m opening up so that others don’t feel they are alone…

First, I feel I have to defend myself; I’m an intelligent, articulate woman.  I hold myself to high standards and get quite angry by the low brow entertainment offerings that are so prevalent today.

Hell, one of my favourite rants is how “reality news shows” and morning TV are the reason we are becoming so dumb.  I’m passionate about education and using my time to achieve worthwhile goals.  So I’m deeply ashamed to admit my degrading addiction.

(I also believe that not returning shopping trollies to their bay in the car park is contributing to the breakdown of civilisation, but that’s a rant for another day.)

It started innocently enough; I was tired on a flight back from a client conference and wasn’t paying too much attention to my actions.  It was only one, what could it hurt? Right?

Wrong! That one hit was all it took, I was hooked.

I binged all the flight home, I couldn’t get enough.  I didn’t want to get off the flight and lose my “connection”.  I knew I couldn’t get the product at home; I’d never be able to hide the lost time and money from Crazy Cat Boy.

For the past few years I’ve hidden this dirty secret from the world, indulging while on work trips alone in my hotel room. Making excuses to leave client dinners early or showing up late for pre dinner drinks. Yes, I had sunk that low.

Only recently did I admit my problem to Super Sammie.  I expected her to recoil in horror and suggest I seek treatment immediately, but to my dismay she just smiled knowingly and shared her stash with me.  It appears that this addiction has almost reached epidemic proportions among seemingly responsible, middle class, white women.

Why admit my addiction now you ask?  Well after years of managing to keep a lid on it mostly due to the lack of opportunity to indulge it seems that I’m about to be found out.  I’ll shortly be able to feed my shame at home and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to resist.

So if you don’t hear from me for a while, please stage an intervention, I’ll be in my lounge room wearing PJ’s, an addict’s vacant glassy stare, slack jawed and binge watching Real Housewives….