Here’s Some Jam

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My friend is in pain and all I can do is bring her jam and be there if she needs me while her world is dark.

That’s it, still trollying along on my year off booze, work is insane but I’m a happy and healthy and that’s pretty good as far as I’m concerned.

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No More Firsts?

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged?  Talk about not keeping new years resolutions!  LOL.

I’m at my clients ATM and upstairs my boss is in a meeting that could change the course of both our professional lives.. it’s hush, hush, so keep it between us please 😉

If it all comes together there’ll be a number of firsts I’ll have to deal with in the very near future, and that’s ok because I’m sleeping well (ATM) and feeling pretty damn healthy due to this not drinking jazz and getting plenty of exercise.

Hang on I hear you say, isn’t the title of this post “No More Firsts”?  And here she is rabbiting on about a bunch of firsts on the cards.  Nice catch!  I only attract the very smartest of readers !  🙂

I was thinking only this morning that I’m out of non drinking firsts.  Over the past 2 years while I’ve been taking longish periods away from my beloved wine I’ve actually covered them all at some point… Christmas, NYE, Birthdays, Funerals, Weekends away*, Conferences, Dinners with friends and enablers alike, Winery visits, the list goes on….  Hell, I’ve even had my MIL stay and not drink!  The only thing I’m missing is a wedding but we are past that in my circle ATM, so I think I’m good there.  It’s true what those who have gone before say, it does get easier, those firsts come and go and you go on with your journey a little bit surer that what you doing is right for you.

 

*After looking at me like I’d lost my mind when I said I was taking the year off booze, my colleague came out with “Oh good, we don’t have to walk back to the work show, you can drive us home!” It was his car and 40 degrees, so I was more than happy to drive the drunks home.  I do love how often Aussies immediate go to is  “You non drinking freak… here are my keys, you’re responsible for us all now”  LOL!  I also enjoyed waking up without a hangover the next morning in that heat,  that was the real bonus!

Which App Is More Socially Acceptable?

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Not mine for sure!

So, I told you good peeps that I was off to a BBQ at friends on Australia Day (I’m going to over look the fact that I actually screwed up and we drove 1.5 hrs each way on the wrong day and had to do it all over again the following day, completely messing up our long weekend plans*).

“Adventure” aside,  we had a lovely day (eventually!), our hosts were delighted to find that the bottle of wine was all for them. We proceeded to chat and eat the afternoon away.  Discussion turned, as it so often does with a bunch of middle to slightly older people sitting around, to health.

Crazy Cat Boy and I had explained that we were taking the year off booze**. He said so he could lose weight, that prompted fitness aspiration confessions from around the table,  within seconds phones were produced and fitness/health apps were flourished around and workout stats analysed (Boys!).

Apps are fabulous, but the thing that stood out to me is the boys (I was the only woman at the table, not unusual in my world) all had apps that were positive, they were providing their users with a “solution”… my app, a sobriety app, suggested to all that I had a “problem”.

I said so and that got a laugh from the group, but it got me thinking, is it a different mind set with guys when they set out to “improve” themselves?  Do women immediately go to a place where we decided that we aren’t good enough and that we have a problem that needs to be fixed? Do men look at things differently?   I never even considered downloading a fitness app. Do these even track drinking/non drinking as part of the overall health aspect?  (Dunno, haven’t looked and this was supposed to be a short post, I really have a lot of work to do today)

It’s an interesting concept to explore… I work with mostly men and don’t really have a whole lot of IRL interaction with women.  I do know that guys don’t do guilt, realising this and taking action to give up guilt myself has helped my mental health a lot.  Perhaps they don’t do imperfection either where they are concerned?

What about all of you out there? I know some of you good people are looking closely or actively working on your relationship with alcohol.  Thoughts on the female v male psyche on addressing this?

 

*Didn’t really, just wasted a day in travel. Thank goodness we weren’t hungover and cranky at each other, that could have been a long 1.5 hr trip home! LOL  We did go for a long walk and visit a nice garden that was on the “list of stuff to do”.  

‘Stralia Day, The Booziest Weekend Of Them All

It’s Australia Day in my little patch of the world and along with all the controversy around the day itself, something I’m not going to get into here, it’s also a long weekend where getting blind (Aussie term for very drunk) is considered obligatory.  It’s downright un Australian not to write yourself off apparently.

We are off to friends for lunch and I’m writing this from the comfort of my bed, but on the kitchen table sits a very nice bottle of red wine.  I put it there last night to remind me to take it today as a gift for our hosts.  However, Crazy Cat Boy has been giving me weird looks and I can see his mind churning… “Is that for us, are we drinking today? What about this year off thing she was on about?”

The answer is no, I won’t be drinking today (I’ve got Kombucha in the fridge to take for me), and the great thing is that I also won’t get any stick from this set of friends about not drinking. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that my gay mates are always completely accepting of other peoples decisions.  I might get a polite inquiry as to why no booze, but I certainly won’t get grilled like I have been in other circumstances.

Last week I was staying in old home town with Super Sammie and caught up with a few friends for dinner…. one dear friend spent about 20 minutes hanging shit on me for not drinking and then pulled me aside later to seriously ask me if I was sick  –  Nope, not dying, just not drinking!  LOL.

I’m looking forward to today, for once I’ve got the right outfit, it’s no longer stupidly hot here and I’ll happily handover the wine to hosts and drink my Kombucha while eating too many sausages and possibly getting mildly sun burnt… it’d be un Australian  not to!  😉

Getting Your Ducks In A Row(ish)

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Well good Internet people it’s week three of the new year, who’s still keeping their resolutions?  😉

I am, only 349 days left to meet my sober challenge (I’m a counter, what can I say!) and I’m making an effort to get my shit sorted nice and early in the year.

To this end, today I’ve booked a dentist appointment (to fill an annoying gap in my aging teeth) and to have my tax done next week. I’m also writing this at the same time as restoring my hair to its “natural” colour and removing that pesky lady mo LOL.

Ok, so none of this is very exciting, but it means I’m moving forward, something that I’ve been slow with in recent years.

So, this is me, gradually getting my ducks in a row, what are you going to do today to muster your ducks into whatever formation you’d like them to be in?

Back Fat & Booze

One of the “joys” of getting older is watching my body change… it’s doing stuff that I’ve never had to deal with before and I’m not happy about it.  Yeah, yeah, I know, age gracefully, be thankful that I have the chance, so many don’t, etc, etc… trust me I get all that but seriously, why can’t I just stay the shape I was?

I’m pretty lucky, I’m one of these people that have until the last few years been able to eat pretty much what I want and as long as I move a bit my weight doesn’t change a lot.

However, it was brought home to me by a young bra fitter recently that there’s been a change I really don’t like.  I was feeling a bit frumpy, as you do when you reach a certain age and decided that a new bra would cheer me up (why I thought this I have no idea. LOL).   So I trotted off to brand name underwear chain to get fitted.  All the bra’s I tried on provided me with a very sexy (NOT!) and unwelcome extra roll of fat poking out from under the arms and around the back.   “These don’t fit” I confidently tell the fitting assistant “They’re too tight, look at that bulge, let’s try another size”.  She casually looks me over and says “Nope, right size, don’t worry about that, everyone has them” she says in the comforting the old lady tone that only a retail sales assistant can carry off.

My first thought was – hey, I’m not everyone young lady! followed swiftly by, when did this happen to me, I’m not an extra roll of fat kind of person??!!

But you know what, I am now.  Years of booze (and brie)  have added an unwelcome layer of padding to my body.  It’s crept up gradually and I never noticed until I wasn’t happy with what I saw.

So, my existing bra’s aren’t uncomfortable because they are old, they are uncomfortable because I’m inhaling too much sugar and sitting around feeling hungover and sorry for myself.  Right then!

You know what, I’m tired of being tired and not being the best me.  So, 2019 is the year of “YES”, yes to opportunities, yes to new experiences, yes to no booze for the year and yes to recovering me.

PS: day ten no booze and I feel great… day ten is when the happy comes back… day 15 is where I forget what it’s like to drink and crack, so I’m on my guard!  

 

It’s Been A while, Oh And I Broke Someone…

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Nearly two months since I wrote. How that time has flown by.  I’ve got lots to say but nothing at the same time if you know what I mean?

I was going to talk about Christmas craziness*, but it’s not – it’s going to be just me, the cats and Crazy Cat Boy at home for a quiet day.

Then I was going to talk about the whole no booze journey and how it’s going for me, but I’m not – There’s been a few drinks here and there, nothing to write home (or a blog) about.

Oh, I know what I can tell you!  I’m the last straw!  That’s right,  you heard it here first good internet peeps, I pushed someone over the edge!  They actually cited me as, and I quote, “Too Demanding”,  the task I’d given them was the “last straw” and they quit their job of over 10 years.

Hmm, I sound terrifying I know!  But the reality is far from that.

Regular readers might remember that my organisation had a big event** last month, one I’ve been working as the key Project Manager on for a while.  Part of the three day event was a side function that ran for one day and included our suppliers exhibiting.  I’d been working with the relevant Sales Manager for my client who seemed…. disinterested shall we say in the details.  Sales Manager takes off for leave (as they are justified to do) and leaves very vague instructions for his staff member around the responsibilities for the side function.

Not unexpectedly I call a meeting with this staff member to see how things are going and where we can support (keeping in mind we’d actually done all the heavy lifting already on the event – all we really needed was someone to run it on the day).  They seemed fine at the meeting and we progress with phone calls, emails etc, all is moving in the right direction until 1 week out I get a call from the big boss… “Sales Manager got back today,  XYZ quit, apparently it’s our fault.”   

Our fault? Nope, not even remotely.  XYZ had a lot on, it’s been a very, very long year in our industry, more so than normal, and he was working in a high pressure sales environment with an understaffed team.  XYZ has a small child who is unwell and a massive prospective new customer that was keeping them on the road and away from home.  Add to that an overworked and under pressure sales manager above them and it all became too much and he marched in with a resignation letter and then marched straight out of the building.  Dramatic, but not very practical in my book (Hmm, perhaps I really am a hardarse)

The big boss was concerned that I might feel bad about the situation, but I don’t.  I know that it wasn’t me – in fact once the smoke had cleared XYZ went to the boss and said as much, they were just overwhelmed.

I do hope XYZ gets another job soon that will allow them to enjoy what they do again and that they find peace. I’ve been in a situation where a job is literally killing me, it’s not healthy.  I’m not sure what their personal situation is, I do hope they had the Fuck You Money to do this without putting their family stability at risk.

The whole situation was a timely reminder to keep an eye on my own stress levels and mental health.  So I encourage all of you at the end of this long year, wherever you are to take stock of how you feel in your head and your heart and make changes to keep yourself healthy and happy as we head into the silly season and beyond.

 

*Even my dear SIL seems to be taking a realistic approach to the silly season this year… the fact that she’s 7 weeks booze free is probably helping there I should imagine! Go her, it’s a great thing to be doing for herself.

**In case you are wondering, I did the lead up, the event and post event stone cold sober, much to many peoples deep and abiding confusion.   Trust me, it really was the only way I got through.  If I’d been dealing with lack of sleep and hangovers, I’d have done more than quit my job!  LOL

What’s with all the hair?

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Has anyone else noticed the inordinate amount of time you seem to spend plucking, waxing, dyeing or bleaching various patches of hair on your body as you get older???

It can’t be just me that appears to be morphing into some hybrid, greying werewolf surely?  All of a sudden the random “hair” on my chin has become “hairs” and there is something fine and long growing out of the side of my left rib cage, I can’t see it (coz, you know, old and blind apparently!) but I know it’s there because it keeps tickling my arm when I  undress.  Very irritating on a number of levels LOL.

The full  leg laser hair removal I “invested” in a decade ago to allow me to wear dresses without advanced planning is slowly but surely being ravaged by the hormones of time.  If I look closely there are a number of longish dark hairs reappearing.  Mind you I solve this by not looking closely that often… a strategy that will only work for so long before it becomes socially unacceptable however.

I’ve also noticed that my eyebrows have taken to random growth patterns and my bottles of root touch up don’t last nearly as long as they used to.  I’m considering growing my hair long again just to keep my dye budget* in check.   Add all this to the need for constant vigilance where my lady mustache is concerned and I’m not sure I have time for a full time career any longer.

However, as I’m not yet independently wealthy enough to give up this working malarkey  (and I can assure you, I checked), I’ll just have to make sure I schedule regular maintenance time, just like I do my laptop backups!

 

*The money I’m saving on booze is going on hair dye… ok that maybe a slight exaggeration, I drank A LOT, but still, you get my point. 😉

Still Paddling

Life’s frantic ATM so this is a quick check in to say, I’m still here and still paddling along.  Hope you are all well good internet peeps. I promise to catch up on all of my blog buddies soon!

Have a happy, healthy Monday all.

Day 2 of Another 100

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I’ve officially decided that I need another 100 Day Challenge.  After a couple of drinks over lunch on Saturday it’s become clear to me that I need a target to aim for, just a wishy washy “perhaps not drink until the end of the year” won’t work for me.  I need a solid date, so 2nd January 2019 it is.

Work is crazy and I can’t afford a moment lost.  So for the next 98 days I’ll be like this pelican*, calm on top, paddling furiously underneath. Wish me luck!

 

*Yes I know it’s generally a Swan but this guy had such a goofy look on his face I couldn’t resist!  LOL